Jedi Webmaster Obama Given a Light Saber by Colbert

If you did not catch the Colbert Report on Comedy Central last night (Thursday, April 17th), you will probably find it worth your while to catch one of the scheduled reruns today or this evening. The show brought to a climax Colbert’s week in Pennsylvania in advance of the primary election next Tuesday.

Last night’s show was political satire at its best, but it was also political allegory at its most profound.

Stephen Colbert showed why he deserved that Peabody Award.

Here is a link to last night’s show.

Here is a quick synopsis below the break.

(1) The candidate who portrays herself as the detail-oriented policy wonk who can fix anything is given the opportunity to come in from New York to fix the broken down big screen. Hillary walks onstage and dutifully delivers her lines, and the audience remains under control and does not boo her (Colbert clearly made sure that the audience members would hold their fire during Hillary’s appearance.) Finally, with Hillary’s “expert” advice, the big video screen is up and running.

(2) Colbert then uses the big screen “fixed” by Hillary to run a devastating deconstruction of the shameless “gotcha” approach of ex-Clinton apparatchik George Stephanopoulos and ABC’s Charles Gibson during Wednesday night’s “debate,” i.e., inquisition. The circle of guilt-by-associations leading back through the Pope, who was a Nazi youth, all the way to Hitler is a particularly sharp thrust.

(3) Rep. Patrick Murphy, who was an Army Captain in the 82nd Airborne Division in Iraq, comes on to talk about why he has endorsed Obama for President. Murphy’s handling of past tense verbs is a little clumsy, but he is earnest, coherent, concise, and obviously knowledgeable about the realities of Iraq. Colbert gives Murphy essentially free rein, and Murphy brings up the point that Obama is a “once in a generation” kind of leader.

(4) A very relaxed John Edwards waltzes in to deliver his “Edwords” lines with good timing and grace, including a dig about worrying about getting bitten by James Carville–thereby reminding savvy viewers of Carville’s going nuclear and calling Bill Richardson “Judas” after Richardson endorsed Obama. Is Edwards hinting at how he is leaning?

(5) Using the wonders of 21st century technology, Jedi Webmaster Obama then appears behind Colbert on the same big screen that had earlier been “fixed” by Hillary and proceeds to put the media’s pointless faux “distractions” on notice at the very top of Colbert’s famous “On Notice Board”–to the great delight of the live audience, which roars its approval with sustained cheering.

This episode is political satire and allegory of the highest caliber. Hillary, seemingly unwittingly, lays the groundwork for Murphy, Edwards, and Obama to change and elevate the parameters of the national discussion. Colbert serves as the medium for the transformation.

It is game, set and match–for Obama.

And Colbert, more than any other media figure (though Jon Stewart and Keith Olbermann make their fair contributions), seems to be the genuine Voltaire of our era.

Bootleg Raw: Of Souls and Sorrows

Since returning from Boston, I have received every morning a harried phone call from Mom documenting my Grandmother’s decline. She has another infection, she has fallen, she has blacked out and isn’t certain what transpired. Each time the conversation ends, this morning I gave Mom some half assed advice that she treated like a sliver of brilliance because she too is stressed out, I think that there are countless other middle aged Americans getting these same phone calls. After all we are a nation of traveling and middle class aspiring wanderers and consumers dancing the ultimate unicorn shuffle thinking that we matter as individuals that we should be out achieving and growing and living in districts with good schools in suburbs with no trees or working OT to send the kiddies to private school and telling ourselves the money is worth it so somebody will recognize our offspring in their specialness and all of this is often done hours away from our parents who live in a small towns with no jobs/declining post industrial city with no jobs/NAFTAized regions with no jobs and the only people we know who stayed behind have no jobs or low paying jobs with no benefits who are dully caring for their parents while trying to talk their own kids out joining the service because their own options are limited. And really. They can go to college and become teachers and scientists and get plowed under by debt and live in a studio apartment after graduation with six other roommates because they pay more in rent than Mom and Dad do for the mortgage.

This is America. We have choices. We can just amble on down the road of personal responsibility and free market solutions and buy lottery tickets or hope to hit the big one at the local casino where everybody says: that buffet is really great. Really, I know somebody who won 80,000 or my neighbor’s cousin’s aunt does.

And each time I get the phone call I try to remember how much vacation time I have. Not much. Because I took a vacation this year. Stayed in America because Europe was too pricey and I am not keen on those charming third world countries where they put you on a compound to create the illusion of an  local economy. Then I berate myself for even taking a vacation, who can even afford to take one now? Who even gets paid vacation? That search is starting to take on Holy Grail like proportions for the average working American. Yeah. We will give you a job and the best that you can hope for is that we won’t humiliate you too too often and we will let you train your replacement. Deal?

My girlfriend who has been at her job in Canada two years gets twice as much paid vacation as I, at my job almost ten. But those Canadians pay high taxes. I hear they all want to come here but they won’t work cheap like those other immigrants…. you know the nice ones who enjoy and value hard work for slavery wages.

Never mind that half the people I work with are doing it sleep deprived because their husbands can’t figure out how to change a diaper without a phone consult or pass on the fascinating information that the baby is crying again or they are dragging their asses to work with chronic injuries and illness, having exhausted sick time long ago. Or working overtime because hubby got laid off or injured and it turns out that food costs money. And the political candidates in this election want donations from ordinary people?

They should be showing up, doing their stump speeches and offering to fill everybody’s tanks or buy a bag of groceries for those who can stomach the sheer screaming inane nothingness that emits.

I laugh hard when I see shows about medical errors and how shocking they are. I think, wow you mean there aren’t more than that. The people taking care of you are people, they get orders from shell shocked residents who have been working 24 hours and have to present a paper in the morning. I keep hearing we have the best medical system in the world and I actually work at a world class institution with good working conditions. My best guess is the health care crisis will be solved when we all just fall over and die. That is a personal choice, right? A free market solution. So is genocide and we tolerate that quite nicely provided it happens to the foreign people. Americans seem to think they are worth more than others. My guess: so do Canadians and the rest of the west.

Americans are making calculations every single day. About survival. The American dream has been reduced to hoping retirement doesn’t happen in a wet cardboard box out on the street. The only consolation: if it happens to you and I we will have plenty of company. Maybe the revolution will get launched out of wet soggy cardboard boxes. If you’re breathing, it is never too late.

They say gold is a good investment. They say it is hard to digest though and chewing leather without teeth takes some patience.

Yes. Everything is personal to me. Probably because I am a person. And so are you. Funny how that works.

Five phone calls in two hours. I think we have it sorted out for now.

Pony Party, Phone it in Friday

I never get tired of this one

dont click this one if you dont enjoy silliness..

“what are you, like, a wookie??”

speaking of crackers…

have a great weekend!!

~73v

The Ethanol Apologists w/poll