You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch

Ho, ho, bah humbug. Think I’ll pop this one back on top every time I get hyperglycemic. Wouldn’t want to go into a coma.

Sing along, you know you want to.

You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch
You really are a heel
You’re as cuddly as a cactus, you’re as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch
You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch
Your heart’s an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders, you’ve got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch
I wouldn’t touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch
You have termites in your smile
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch

Given a choice between the two of you I’d take the seasick crocodile!

You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch
You’re a nasty-wasty skunk
Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Grinch
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote
“Stink, stank, stunk!”

You’re a rotter, Mr. Grinch
You’re the king of sinful sots
Your heart’s a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots, Mr. Grinch
Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful
Assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled up knots!

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch
With a nauseous super “naus”!
You’re a crooked dirty jockey and you drive a crooked hoss, Mr. Grinch

You’re a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!

Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

Holiday Non-Fundraising

My point is that I don’t try to make any money by writing on the Internet, at least under this pseudonym, but I don’t disrespect people who do and ask for support especially during seasons of generosity.

You should do that.

I don’t need it and the sites (DocuDharma, The Stars Hollow Gazette) are privately funded. If you disagree it’s not because I’m beholden to a particular sponsor, I’m just naturally a prejudiced opinionated asshole. You could visit (or just read or re-tweet) your senile old (120+ and still cranking gosh durn it) uncle every one in a while.

I’ll tell you about Jim Blaine’s Grandfather’s old ram.

Come back for another taunting anytime you silly English Knnnnnnnnnnnnnnnigits.