Bill Maher’s New Rules: Noah’s Ark, God and Religion

Adapted from The Rant of the Week at The Stars Hollow Gazette

Bill Maher – New Rules: Noah’s Ark, God and Religion

“What kind of tyrant punishes everyone just to get back at the few he’s mad at? I mean, besides Chris Christie.”

“Hey, God, you know you’re kind of a dick when you’re in a movie with Russell Crowe and you’re the one with anger issues.”

“You know conservatives are always going on about how Americans are losing their values and their morality, well maybe it’s because you worship a guy who drowns babies.”

“If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away.”

“I’m reminded as we’ve just started Lent, that conservatives are always complaining about too much restraining regulation and how they love freedom, but they’re the religious ones who voluntarily invent restrictions for themselves. On a hot summer day, Orthodox Jews wear black wool, on a cold winter night Mormons can’t drink a hot chocolate… isn’t life hard enough without making shit up out of thin air to fuck with yourself?”

1 comment

    • TMC on March 25, 2014 at 9:33 pm
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