Clear and Plain and Coming Through Fine

(4 pm. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

Israeli decision to strike Iran is almost final . . .

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Defense Minister Ehud Barak have “almost finally” decided on an Israeli strike at Iran’s nuclear facilities this fall, and a final decision will be taken “soon.”

Militarily, an Israeli strike would prompt missile attacks on Israel, attacks by Hamas and Hezbollah from the south and the north, and upheaval on the Arab street, in the leadership’s assessment.  Diplomatically, an Israeli strike would prompt a confrontation with the US, global protests, international isolation for Israel, delegitimization, and a situation in which Israel was seen as the aggressor. But Israel’s two key leaders believe that if Iran got the bomb, Israel would be defeated and humiliated diplomatically, and would become a liability to the US.

Netanyahu is convinced that thwarting Iran amounts to thwarting a plan to destroy the Jewish people.  He considers Iran’s spiritual leader to be acting rationally in order to achieve “fanatical” goals.

So Netanyahu has formulated a foolproof plan to foil Khamenei.  He’s going to act fanatically in order to achieve rational goals.  That’ll show those stupid Persians who’s rational and who isn’t.    

It looks like this is going to go down.  Bebe’s precious bodily fluids are bubbling and foaming with excitement . . .    

Dr. Strangelove, smirk,

That idiot is going to attack Iran, and the shit’s going to hit the fan everywhere.

Some might say I’m being too pessimistic.  I suppose there’s still a chance that the Israeli opposition will lock Bebe and Ehud up in a nuthouse somewhere and Shaul Mofaz will make a last minute phone call to Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei . . .

Hello?  Hello, Ali?  Listen, I can’t hear too well, do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little?   Oh, that’s much better.   Yes.   Fine, I can hear you now, Ali.   Clear and plain and coming through fine.   I’m coming through fine too, eh?   Good, then.   Well then as you say we’re both coming through fine.  Good.  Well it’s good that you’re fine and I’m fine.  I agree with you.  It’s great to be fine.

Now then Ali, you know how we’ve been kind of worried about the possibility of your country getting the bomb?  The bomb, Ali.  Nukes.  Well now what happened is, some of our leaders, they had a sort of, well they went a little funny in the head.  You know.  Just a little . . . funny.  And uh, they went and did a silly thing.

Well, I’ll tell you what they did, they ordered our planes . . . to attack your country.

Well let me finish, Ali.  Let me finish.

We’re trying to recall the planes, but you might have to shoot them down. Who should we call, Ali?

The martyrs?  Sorry, you faded away there.

The Martyr’s Central Air Defense Headquarters?  Where is that, Ali?

In Tabriz.  Right.  Yes.

Oh, you’ll call them first, will you?

Uh huh.  Listen, do you happen to have the phone number on you, Ali?

What?  I see, just ask for Tabriz Information.  I’m sorry too, Ali.  I’m very sorry.

Alright!  You’re sorrier than I am!  But I am sorry as well.  I am as sorry as you are, Ali. Don’t say that you are more sorry than I am, because I am capable of being just as sorry as you are.  So we’re both sorry, alright?

Yeah.  OK.  that’s probably not going to happen.

So . . . Docudharma will be mailing out Survival Kits to everyone, even Lasthorseman. In them you’ll find: one 45-caliber automatic, two boxes of ammunition, four days’ concentrated emergency rations, one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, and tranquilizer pills, Buhdydharma’s cell phone number, a case of beer, an absentee ballot application, one issue of prophylactics, three lipsticks, three pairs of nylon stockings, a map of the deepest caves in America, and a book of matches.

Good luck.  


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  1. Yaahoooooooooooooooooooo!!

  2. Right down the line, there has been “activity,” some known, some unknown (mostly covert), but all of it seemingly leading to an inevitable real confrontation with Iran.  And, there’s no innocence anywhere!

    gotterdammerung speaks of Stuxnet and I had just put down an article, dealing with just that.  

    Stuxnet is a digital ghost, countless lines of code crafted with such genius that it was able to worm its way into Iran’s nuclear fuel enrichment facility in Natanz, Iran, where gas centrifuges spin like whirling dervishes, separating bomb-grade uranium-235 isotopes from the more plentiful U-238. Stuxnet seized the controls of the machine running the centrifuges and in a delicate, invisible operation, desynchronized the speeds at which the centrifuges spun, causing nearly a thousand of them to seize up, crash and otherwise self-destruct. The Natanz facility was temporarily shut down, and Iran’s attempt to obtain enough U-235 to build a nuclear weapon was delayed by what experts estimate was months or even years.

    The question of who made Stuxnet and who targeted it on Natanz is still a much-debated mystery in the IT and espionage community. But from the beginning, the prime suspect has been Israel, which is known to be open to using unconventional tactics to defend itself against what it regards as an existential threat. The New York Times published a story that pointed to U.S.-Israeli cooperation on Stuxnet, but with Israel’s role highlighted by the assertion that a file buried within the Stuxnet worm contained an indirect reference to “Esther,” the biblical heroine in the struggle against the genocidal Persians. . . . . . .

    On the other hand, was the signature an attempt to frame the Israelis? On the other, other hand, was it possible the Israelis had indeed planted it hoping that it would lead to the conclusion that someone else had built it and was trying to pin it on them?

    When you’re dealing with virtual espionage, there is really no way to know for sure who did what.

    Unless you’re Richard Clarke.

    “I think it’s pretty clear that the United States government did the Stuxnet attack,” he said calmly.

    But the problems with the attack was that it became unleashed and found its way into millions of computer, but caused no damage to them, because no “code” was used but did leave the systems open for hackers all over the world.  

    The vision Clarke has is of a modern technological nightmare, casting the United States as Dr. Frankenstein, whose scientific genius has created millions of potential monsters all over the world. But Clarke is even more concerned about “official” hackers such as those believed to be employed by China.

    Really worth reading the entire article!

    Cassandra Syndrome (Interview with Richard Clarke)

  3. And I have been laid off from making those laser targeting part thingies.  Don’t know what kind of false flag event that means but hey the Olympics are over without incident.  Maybe the benevolent space aliens helped out.

    • banger on August 17, 2012 at 23:41

    Well, since these rumors several years back I always assured anyone who would listen that there was no way it was going to happen–no way Jose. The realities of power-relations would not allow it–the international economy was too fragile and another war is bad for business. However, things have changed. Wall Street is firmly in control of the country with absolutely nothing to worry about. The markets are relatively stable so the war could go through without seriously harming the world economy unless Iran is capable of seriously disrupting oil shipments. I think the evaluation must be that it isn’t capable of doing that so it remains a possibility.

    I think, if it happens, it will probaly happen after the U.S. election because there is, I am led to believe, a tacit agreement that Israel can fuck things up as much as it wants but it is not to meddle with U.S. Presidential elections. I believe that opinion is bi-partisan–or it was. However, this too may no longer be the case since the Republican Party wants no part of either bi-partisanship than bi-sexuality. Those people believe they can take total control of the country and Netanyahu is their hero and Likud their model.

    The idea would be to force Obama to commit troops and massive air and sea power to defeat the Iranians or lose the election. This would stun the old pros at State, CIA and the Pentagon but they would have to comply. Bibi would not only be in the drivers seat in the ME but have dramatically increased his power in the United States–he’s already one of the most powerful politicians in the U.S. We would then have the institutionalization of tail wagging dog or tail turning into dog.  

  4. You exist. Maybe the world is not as crappy as I thought. Sorry projecting negativity from my own yucky life. Wow. Guess I better start dropping by again if you are posting.

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