not like the good old days, the BushCo days. in some perverse way, george bush and I carried on a stormy, passionate affair. it was addictive. it was seductive. and it was satisfying.
maybe that sounds strange. but as god as my witness, it’s true. i loved writing (in a perverse way) about this man, his presidency, and the utter subversion of our country and my ideals. i loved finding my political voice and the salonesque experience of writing at places like Daily Kos and Docudharma.
the whole affair gave me purpose and directed my priorities. i was part of a group of people working, writing, campaigning to to keep our country safe by exposing bushCo.
x posted at writing in the rAw
then 2006 rolled towards November and the Dems recaptured control of congress. ::: sigh of relief ::: and i thought we had really been part of something spectacular.
yet…….. something strange happened: the rethugs, as we called them, still seemed as much in control as they had been in the majority. further, most democrats seemed to vote yea to everything george bush wanted.
i admit, at first i was confused. not sure of what i was perceiving. feeling a bit sick, actually. suddenly, this bushCo affair wasn’t going so well. i couldn’t tell good guys from bad guys anymore.
writing about it left me lonely and listening to people saying how our only option was to elect dems and use them to get our progressive agenda enacted. i thought: geez, that scenario doesn’t look at all promising. in fact, i thought it might be more fun to try another tact… like having the netroots support Cindy Sheehan over Nancy Pelosi. just to make a point.
of course, there was a flood of the totally irrelevant retorts like do you know her position on education? well, i really didn’t and i really didn’t care either. the point was to make a point to dems: respect the electorate; respect your base.
okay. then Obama gets elected. i, like so many others, HOPED he would call for accountability, create jobs, stop the thieves…
great :::chest heaving sigh::: that didn’t happen either. i know lots of people tout the health care bill, but i don’t find it terribly impressive and it falls short of the really big issues, like controlling costs. to me, it seemed like a few bones were thrown but the really big stuff, like accountability for war and economic crimes, have no play.
i’m also pretty sure that having Rick Warren at the presidential swearing in ceremony of Barack Obama was a pretty clear signal that Obama was going to disappoint and disappoint big…
as this plays like a slow mo wreck caught as time yawns, i realize this makes me miss bush terribly. at least i knew him. he was a reliable bad guy. i could count on him to be consistent. his lies didn’t hurt, his broken promises never disappointed. and, for a while, i was safe thinking there was an antidote: the democrats.
now i’ve come to accept that brand politics and the group of men and women currently running the show in Washington are inept decision and policy makers. some are self-serving, others mere sycophants, and a few truly dangerous. most all near sighted and cowardly.
the down side of acceptance, to date, is that i’m a bit unplugged. i feel vague. i don’t have hold of my anger and don’t know where to point my writing.
i’m looking for something. another purpose. something clear. something true. something i can understand and fight for.
because i am done fighting against the current.
i am looking for some way to change the game. the board. and the rules.