Everything Sucks!

(9AM EST – promoted by Nightprowlkitty)















The president sucks. I mean, he really sucks.

The last president sucked too. The next president is almost guaranteed to suck, since all presidents either suck, have sucked or will suck. Some presidents have even been sucked. Sucking is what presidents do.

The Congress sucks. They really suck. That sucks too.

Nancy sucks. I don’t know why anyone would let her, but she does… and then there’s Harry never mind….

Israel sucks. Wall Street sucks.

BP sucks. The oil leak sucks.

Republicans suck. Democrats suck.

Electioneering sucks. Empire collapse sucks.

It all sucks. I mean everything sucks. All of it. It all sucks.

The war sucks. The other war sucks. The last war sucked. The next war sucks even more. Sucking is what wars do.

I mean it. It all sucks.

Now the economy sucks, too. The last economy sucked. The next economy will probably suck too. The economy has always sucked. Sucking is what the economy does.

Even girlfriends suck. All my girlfriends have all sucked. And they probably thought I sucked too. But then most boyfriends probably suck, usually.

My job sucks. probably because I don’t have one. But even the last one sucked. They all sucked. Your job probably sucks too. Or did suck. Or will suck. Sucks, huh?

Is there anything that doesn’t suck?

It sucks that everything sucks. I mean it. It really sucks.

I wish I had an answer. It sucks that I don’t have an answer.

What sucks even more is that you don’t have an answer either. Even if you think you do. Sucks, huh?

Gitmo sucks. Torture sucks. Bombing sucks. Depleted uranium sucks. Napalm sucks. White phosporus sucks. Poverty sucks. Disease sucks. Injustice sucks. Bigotry sucks. Racism sucks. Starvation sucks. Hate sucks. The poisoned gulf sucks.

Self-styled so-called progressives who aren’t happy unless they’re miserable suck.

Self-styled so-called progressives who call themselves progressives but aren’t happy unless they are miserable and running around in circles with their hair on fire screaming and crying and wailing and gnashing their teeth about how much everything sucks and aren’t happy unless they can convince everyone else to be miserable and run round in circles with their hair on fire screaming and crying and wailing and gnashing their teeth about how much everything sucks suck.

You suck. I suck. The world sucks. There is no gravity. The earth sucks.

What can I say? It just… sucks.

This essay sucks. It sucks even more that this is the third time I’ve posted this here.

It’s probably the worst thing I ever wrote. It really sucks.

And if you think listening to democrats sucks now, just wait till after the elections suck.

Even worse, it sucks that either the republicans or the democrats will win.

I wish the people would win for a change. It sucks that they won’t if either the republicans or the democrats win.

Try to have a nice day, ok?


Skip to comment form

    • Edger on October 23, 2010 at 01:29

    This essay might be pointless too. Sucks, eh?

    • banger on October 23, 2010 at 01:58

    That’s where we start comrade.

  1. …. that giant sucking sound of money going south and east.

    • RiaD on October 23, 2010 at 03:24


    make the best of it!

    • Mu on October 23, 2010 at 04:27


     Wish I could get Bob doing this, but Sony’s an anal retentive shit company when it comes to YouTube (and, bless his heart, Bob goes along with it) . . . Everything is Broken:


    Broken lines broken strings

    Broken threads broken springs

    Broken idols broken heads

    People sleeping in broken beds

    Ain’t no use jiving

    Ain’t no use joking

    Everything is broken.

    Broken bottles broken plates

    Broken switches broken gates

    Broken dishes broken parts

    Streets are filled with broken hearts

    Broken words never meant to be spoken

    Everything is broken.

    Seem like every time you stop and turn around

    Something else just hit the ground

    Broken cutters broken saws

    Broken buckles broken laws

    Broken bodies broken bones

    Broken voices on broken phones

    Take a deep breath feel like you’re chokin’

    Everything is broken.

    Everytime you leave and go off someplace

    Things fall to pieces in my face

    Broken hands on broken ploughs

    Broken treaties broken vows

    Broken pipes broken tools

    People bending broken rules

    Hound dog howling bullfrog croaking

    Everything is broken.

  2. An end to the suck factor.

    WWIII starts in November 2010, which is only days away.  All life in the Northern hemisphere is history by 2014.

    So sayeth Baba Vanga.

    • Edger on October 24, 2010 at 15:52

    that you didn’t have anything better that this sucky essay to put on the front page this sucky sunday morning. 😉

  3. What else is new?

    • RUKind on October 24, 2010 at 19:21

    “if everything sucks, whip it out.” RUKind

    • halef on October 25, 2010 at 00:06

    I am the last person on earth to give you a sobriety response.  But it does work. Check out any 12-step programme.

    If that doesn’t catch your fancy, check out Monty Python’s “Life of Brian”.  Same difference.

    We make a difference.  Who knew?

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