Open Letter to Obama Concerning Cupcakes and Milkshakes

(10AM EST – promoted by Nightprowlkitty)

Dear Obama,

Look, obviously the meme that we just can’t all get along between you and the left has taken hold. I could really give a shit. I think some of your handlers were shocked that the Professional Left didn’t give you the Fox News treatment. Plus, I think the moderate Progressives needed a bogey to yell at as their platform was underachieved time and time again.

Achieved mind you, but not much better than a fifth grader.

I understand that the Senate is where hopes and dreams go to die, because that chamber is God’s waiting room. And the House has gone full-blown circus not seen since the days of Will Rogers, the original Jon Stewart.

You just sign the bullshit, and it’s politics as usual.

I understand you made the shit sandwich Bush left you look presentable on the dinner plate.

I get that you stopped the car from driving over the cliff and put the unruly kids in the backseat where they belong. Baby was put in the corner. But they are still taunting you back there, because you are still idling the car.

Sure, the republic ain’t gonna pull a Thelma & Louise with McCain and Palin ready for their close up. But we are still idling because we have yet to change directions, maybe it’s because you don’t know where to go.

That’s where the left is helpful, because you need a grand plan to engrave in history the mark of your administration, and we’re all about grandiose ideas. And sometimes, when you get real lucky Obama, fate tosses you a cupcake.

Sometimes, though, that baked good is hard to identify, especially when covered in tragedy instead of sprinkles.

While the kids argue about mosques and the Mexicans, in the real world a Katrina times 10 has struck Pakistan. Good old Pakistan, the lynch pin in our operations in the Afghan theater. Right now, they need serious help.

The people need help, some of them the poorest you have ever seen Obama. The very people we are trying to win the hearts and minds of, if you will. Your core demographic group.

This is our chance to prove to this region that we are not totally dicks and when a humanitarian situation pops up right next to where we have all our equipment we can come in peace and help out. Imagine America being remembered for rebuilding the villages, instead of bombing them into the ground.

Imagine that, Obama.

You could watch swords being beaten into plows before your very eyes. It would be magnificent milkshake bringing all the peace to the yard.

The people of Pakistan need help desperately, we need their help desperately in bringing peace to the region, seems like the perfect mash up.

Even more perfect than this.

So don’t say the Far Left is against you, we try to point out cupcakes, but we aren’t afraid to drink your milkshake.