Iraq War Ended But Nobody Told You

(2PM EST – promoted by Nightprowlkitty)

According to a New York Times Special Edition almost two full f’ing years ago, and while you weren’t looking because you were distracted by the dazzling light of the 2008 Presidential election campaign, both the Iraq and Afghanistan wars had been finally brought to an end shortly after the November 2008 Presidential Election and before Barack Obama was inaugurated in January 2009, and all US troops in both countries returned home immediately.

Across the country and around the world thousands took to the streets to celebrate the culmination of years of progressive pressuring of the Bush administration and Congress, but the rest of the media and most blogs never reported this because they were too busy shining you.

Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice has publicly apologized on behalf of the Bush administration and admitted that the administration simply lied through it’s teeth to justify the initial invasion, that she and Mr. Bush had known well before the invasion that Saddam Hussein lacked weapons of mass destruction, and that the hundreds of thousands of US Troops in the country in fact never did face instant obliteration.

“It was all complete and utter bullshit” Rice said tearfully, as she begged a weary nation for forgiveness, while she was led away in handcuffs by four burly officers.

George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United States, was indicted on charges of high treason, took it like a man, and didn’t even stamp his foot, or curl his lip.

In other news that you were never told about at the time because all the big blogs were busy blowing smoke up your ass to generate the massive advertising revenue that has always been their real raison d’etre, the controversial USA PATRIOT Act was repealed by Congress by a vote of 99-1 in the Senate and 520 to 18 in the House, Congress voted to nationalize the entire oil industry and place ExxonMobil, ChevronTexaco, British Petroleum, and other major oil companies under public stewardship to fund addressing climate change worldwide.

A bill to eliminate tuition at public universities is making its way through Congress and is expected to pass within days.

The United States National Health Insurance Act was signed into law by President Bush within days of the 2008 election to undercut incoming President-elect Obama, leaving him with nothing to do for the next four years except find a way to bail out the insurance industry with a con job call Health Care Reform that most people simply ate and swallowed hook line and sinker.

Without even chewing on it.

Wal-Mart is also being evicted from all low income neighborhoods throughout the nation, and an editorial in the paper today asserts that “lobbyists” are “people”, too. More study is planned to confirm that however, as the paper has been able to find no one who will believe it. However.

The nation will turn it’s efforts now to an Apollo Program scale effort to build a sane economy.

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke has announced that he will land on the moon before this decade is over. That only gives him a few months, by the way. Rahm Emanuel has not offered to return him safely to earth.

Joe Biden has been reported to be missing in action. Nobody’s heard from him in months. Henry Paulsen was found this morning floating face down in the east river.


Barack Obama has never said a word about all this. He’s moving forward. Looking back is grounds for instantly getting the boot from his administration. Remember what happened to whatzizname? Yeah, him. Van somebody…

I swear it’s all true.


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    • Edger on July 5, 2010 at 18:01
    • RiaD on July 5, 2010 at 18:05

  1. Mercedes?  I got it with my personal stimulus check.  All hail GWB.

  2. The U.S. is a global empire.  We have this massive military budget so that our friends in England, France, Japan, Germany, South Korea don’t have to and so that they can undermine our economy here, and so that we can put McDonalds’ there, and have global unity under the golden arches of transfats.

    Who will fund the global empire of endless war and glory, if not single American moms?  

    Why, it’s almost as if you don’t believe that America should be feared and hated worldwide.  While the Chinese and our competitors foolishly work on their economies and such fripperies as green energies, we are developing the most dastardly and clever weapons in the world, thanks to DARPA.  No one will be able to equal us in crowd control and terrorization.

    All hail the global empire of America!  All hail the global empire of America!

  3. In other news that you were never told about at the time because all the big blogs were busy blowing smoke up your ass to generate the massive advertising revenue that has always been their real raison d’etre

    Heh. Cute. Accurate. 🙂

  4. and get my very own pieces, self chipped out of the Iraq Wall.

    Will Guam capsize due to overpopulation and global warming.

    Does striking Iran mean the false flag nuclear “lite up” of one or more “American” cities.

    Will Edger troll rate this comment because he is on a permanent medeval witch hunt to purge humanity of people who might utter race comments not approved by lamestream.

    Is the human race the premier cockroaches of the universe itself and should it be eliminated once again, as it has been four times over.

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