Full title: $$$ 10 MILLION DOLLAR REWARD $$$ for Sarah Palin to eat a ‘Drill here, drill now’ Shrimp Cocktail announced! (With a nod to Chris Hedges)
(A ‘Drill here, drill now’ Shrimp Cocktail is one made from a delightful blend of authentic, freshly killed Gulf of Mexico shrimp, Gulf Crude, and BP-approved dispersants. All served in a decorative shrimp cocktail glass, with an anti-corrosive long spoon.)
I’m pleased to announce a $$$ 10 MILLION DOLLAR REWARD $$$ for Sarah Palin to demonstrate her faith in her “Drill here, drill now” religion! For a woman like Sarah Palin, who would never recommend such a course of action unless her it was also a rational belief, based on knowledge of the state of regulation of the oil industry, and knowledge of their true liability, it’s important to demonstrate that all her deeds are consistent with those beliefs. After all, she might be a candidate for POTUS, and we certainly wouldn’t want a hypocrite for POTUS, would we?
We want Sarah Palin to eat a Drill Here, Drill Now shrimp cocktail, so as to inspire the residents of the US and Mexico with her deeply held faith; you know, that she really was right, after all. Yes, in spite of the spin that the liberal media is giving that silly Gull spill. After all, some folks in the liberal media think that the livelihoods of people in the Gulf – fishermen, tourist trade, etc., are going to be RUINED. And in an economy which is dipping back into recession, at that. (For which we can thank Obama more than Palin, but that’s off topic, here.) And others actually think that dumping toxic dispersants might kill humans who eat fish which absorb chemicals.
What is wrong with these people? Don’t they know about the wonders of the free market? Don’t they have faith in America, and in the free enterprise system? When they read “The Jungle” in high school (probably inserted into the curiculum by America-hating liberals, BTW), didn’t they realize that this book is complete fiction, and the Meat Inspection Act that it inspired was just because of the hysteria created by the liberal, America-hating media?
Because of the dangers of socialized first aid squads, when Sarah is richly rewarded for demonstrating her failth in America’s greatness, we can promise not to call any socialized first aid squad if she has any adverse reaction to our special shrimp cocktail. No!, we’ll let Sarah’s private healthcare plan deal with any tummy ache she may develop, so Sarah, please bring your health insurance contact info with you, along with your deeply held faith.
So, to Sarah Palin I say: eat our special ‘Drill here, drill now’ shrimp cocktail, and claim your $10 million dollars!!! Inspire us with your deeds, not just your words!!!
OK, there’s no such “$$$ 10 MILLION DOLLAR REWARD $$$”, whose real purpose would be to destroy not only Sarah Palin’s political career, but more importantly, the very idea that businesses don’t need to be intelligently regulated. I would welcome a thorough audit of the US government, including impact studies of all of the mountains of regulation. Doubtless, there will be lots of regulations that should be dispensed with, that fail in any kind of serious cost-benefit analysis. However, that doesn’t seem to have been the problem with the Gulf catastrophe – just the opposite.
Which leads me to my next question – WHY ISN’T THERE SOME SORT OF ATTENTION GRABBING EFFORT, LIKE WHAT I’M SUGGESTING, TO DE-LEGITIMIZE POLITICIANS AND STRAINS OF POLITICAL THOUGHT THAT MADE THE CURRENT GULF CATASTROPHE FAR MORE LIKELY? What, pray tell, are activists waiting for? A special invitation? More time, perhaps to allow the east coast of the US to get visibly damaged? Even (gasp) cancellation of MTV’s “Jersey Shore”?
Chris Hedges recently wrote a very insightful (if flawed) piece called “Liberals are Useless”. If liberals of the sort that believe in intelligent, Earth-friendly and people-friendly regulation don’t use the current catastrophe to help prevent a similar one, then I would say that they’re even more useless than Hedges argued.
IF ANYBODY OUT THERE KNOWS HOW TO SET UP A REAL ORGANIZATION THAT CAN RAISE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS FOR MAKING A ‘DRILL HERE, DRILL NOW’ SHRIMP COCKTAIL OFFER TO SARAH PALIN, I’M IN FOR $50
From Chris Hedges’ Liberal are Useless
Liberals are a useless lot. They talk about peace and do nothing to challenge our permanent war economy. They claim to support the working class, and vote for candidates that glibly defend the North American Free Trade Agreement. They insist they believe in welfare, the right to organize, universal health care and a host of other socially progressive causes, and will not risk stepping out of the mainstream to fight for them. The only talent they seem to possess is the ability to write abject, cloying letters to Barack Obama-as if he reads them-asking the president to come back to his “true” self. This sterile moral posturing, which is not only useless but humiliating, has made America’s liberal class an object of public derision.