Swan dive.

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Whoo!  That was a bit of the old galvanic skin response, wasn’t it?  Wall Street’s high frequency trading programs exhibited a bout of uninhibited sympathetic discharge, and lots of hearts initially stopped dead before drum-rolling seconds later, amid abrupt increases in blood pressure, pounding headaches of sudden onset, profuse sweating, piloerection, blurred vision, and micturition and voiding reflexes.  The Dow, Nasdaq, and S&P took a huge, 1,000-point swan dive, while the Volatility Index shot up Ben Bernanke’s butthole like a bolt of lightning.  Exciting stuff!

I’m just glad everything is back to normal.

8 comments

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    • Edger on May 7, 2010 at 2:27 am

    Blankfein must be turgidly short.

  1. …It was just a computer glitch/automatic sell order.  And there was, again for quite a few minutes, No Adult Supervision.

    The first given reason, which was quickly revised, was that Greece’s heavy indebtedness could ~~bring down the economies of other countries~~!  No, no, don’t say that. Blame it on the repeat button on the automaticmarketticker!!!!

    Whirling out sell orders at the speed of almost light.

    Whoopee!

  2. Portsmouth NH bus emptied due to boogeyman anticipation.

    http://www.google.com/hostedne

  3. However, I could be wrong. It might be a more serious Wall Street Opium Overdose, in which case all rational synapses could be permanently damaged. Unfortunately this often leads to  Virtual Gold Psychosis, where the patient can happily hoard the precious metal for eternity in a state of pure insanity.  

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