President Sunshine and the Water Carriers


It’s Sunshine Week.

In a statement, President Obama applauded his administration’s efforts to become “the most open and transparent ever.”

“We came to Washington to change the way business was done, and part of that was making ourselves accountable to the American people by opening up our government,” Obama said.

The President then made a sweeping gesture to the heavens, noting the Moon in the Seventh House and Jupiter’s alignment with Mars, adding:

This is the dawning of a new age.  Peace is guiding the planets.  Love is steering the stars.  Let the sun shine, let the sunshine in!

After the statement, the President’s official Aquarian spokespersons (aka water-carriers), Robert Gibbs and Peter Orzag, responded to repeated requests for clarification of the President’s statement from the White House press corps.

Reporter: How do you respond to those who assiduously document and counter that Obama has embraced a doctrine of radical secrecy?

Gibbs: The President made clear that he embraces harmony and understanding

Reporter: How should the American people interpret the increase in Freedom of Information Act denials between Bush’s last year and President Obama’s first year?  There were nearly half a million denials in 2009.

Orzag: We see this an opportunity for Americans to express sympathy and trust abounding.  Open up your hearts!

Reporter: Will the President issue his first veto to protect the whitewash of the Anthrax investigation?

Gibbs: Absolutely.  No more falsehoods or derisions.

Reporter: How would you characterize the President’s overall approach to Congressional oversight?

Orzag: Golden living dreams of visions?

Reporter: Mr. Gibbs, would you agree with that characerization?

Gibbs: Definitely, mystic crystal revelations.

Reporter: A final, more specific question: Is the President still maintaining lists of Americans to be extra-judicially assassinated on “any battlefield?”

Orzag:  Can you dig it? The mind’s true liberation!

Then Dancing David Gregory did his thing:


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  1. developmental impact on the president.

    • Edger on March 16, 2010 at 22:10

    the bullshit is transparent now. Bush’s bullshit was pretty shitty, but Obama’s is absolutely clear bullshit through and through…

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