Civility and reason to you, friends!

(noon. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

Oh man I just had the most horrible dream!  You see I went to this diary, wherein I was told, join, join, join them, and you can change it.  Learn the joys of coffee… then I went to this facebook page…..

Then I found myself somehow whisked to this town.  It was a strange town where people wore these strange clothes, like it was the 1800’s, but underneath the 19th century duds and bow ties and hats they all had on instead of a button downed white shirt and blouse, an Obama T-Shirt.

No sooner had I appeared, than a man with a vacant grin approached me.

"Civility and reason to you, friend!", said he.

“Uh, civility and reason to you!” I replied, my eyes widening at this odd greeting.

“Coffee hour approaches,” the man went on, as if in the same vein.  “What will you have?  Mocha?  Latte?  Frappucino?  Maybe a triple espresso cappucino?”

Well, I was getting a bit wigged out at the cognitive dissonance, you understand.  Little alarm bells were going off in my head, but I couldn’t place it.  “Uh, maybe some decaf?” I evaded, hoping to buy time.

"Isn’t Obama the best president evah?" The man prompted me.

“Uh, yeah, he’s great,” I answered, trying not to sweat too much.  The man nodded and walked on, seeingly forgetting he had offered me coffee.  “Coffee hour approaches,” the man mumbled, apparently to himself.  “It is the will of Obama.”

“Hey!” I shouted at the man.  He turned.  “Aren’t you supposed to be a grass roots organization?”

“Yes,” the man smiled.  “Civility and reason, and accountability, and equal justice for all.  All together in the grassroots.  Obama knows all, he sees all.  You will see.  Are you not of the body“?  Suddenly the man’s expression changed.  From vacant and pleasant to suspicious and demanding.

“Yeah, I’m of the body, dude.  Whatever you say!” I smiled back weakly, then ran.

Anyway, I hid out between two buildings.  At this point I was seriously freaked.  And then I noticed on every corner there was an open air Starbucks, and all the people of the town were lining up at them, getting free coffee, except they were little ceramic cups and not Starbucks cardboard.  And no one ordered decaf.

And they were all getting increasingly agitated.  I sweated as I hid out, thinking, “What the fuck, is there METH in this Coffee?”

“Civility!  Reason!  Teabagger!”  Soon the square was filled with shouts.  A woman turned to me and said “Equal justice under the law!” And threw her cup at me.  It shattered over my head.

I had to get out of there.  I ducked into this shop to get away from the increasing carnage, my feet crunching on broken crockery.

So there were these two old men in the shop.  One of them, not the least bit vacant, came up to me and said, “What are you doing here?  It’s coffee hour!”

“What is this coffee hour?” I demanded, panting.  “Can’t you see, people are throwing dishes at each other out there!”

The other man, with a more kindly aspect, patted my shoulder.  “It is the will of Obama,” he sighed.  “I will get you some decaf, and after Coffee Hour is over, you can stay here to sleep it off.”

“Decaf?!” the other man raged.  Looking at me, he said “Are you not of the body?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” I mumbled, no doubt looking desperate.  “I just sort of want to keep on an even keel, you know.”

“Relax, Plouffe,” the kindly man said.  “He’s from Denver.  Their ways are different there.”

“Whatever,” Plouffe screamed.  “You know, he could be a radical socialist Archon, sent here to change our ways.  It is not the will of Obama!”

I suddenly decided to get clever.  “Obama,” I sighed, adopting a cerubic smile.  “He knows, he sees, he gathers all under his grassrootsy umbrella of civility and reason and goodwill.”

“I know your type,” Plouffe sneered.  “We will see what the lawmakers have to say about this!” and stormed out.

Anyway, then I woke up.  Man, caffeine.  It can be nasty stuff when you overdo it!  

9 comments

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  1. hahahahahahaha.

  2. gawd I love you!

    • TMC on March 10, 2010 at 4:58 am

    to stay away from the caffeine?

  3. I needed a break from the craziness in college, so a friend of mine and I decided to head to Mexico City. We took the train from Mexicali and off we went until we stalled on the tracks in the middle of the desert with sand dunes on both sides. The airconditioner broke, but it didn’t stop them from serving us green meat. I declined.

    We reached Mexico D.F. a couple days later. And as we’re drinking coffee, the real deal, we observed lines of tanks rolling down the street (I think we were at a place called Sanborne’s?). We ran out and followed the action like fools. Next thing we knew we were at the Monument of the Revolution in a crowed of thousands. And then all hell broke loose.

    Army guys with guns and shields started chasing everybody, and my friend and I had to duck into a dark alleyway between a couple of skyscrapers. We froze in hope that we’d be undetected. We were lucky. We got back to our hotel, a very tall structure also, and fell asleep ONLY to be awaken in the middle of the night by a very large earthquake of over 7. The building swayed like crazy, but fortunatley, like most of the buildings there built on large hydraulic springs, it held up pretty well. Though the next morning we saw that it had separated from its foundation.

    We then went out for breakfast, but I took my coffee without caffeine.  True Story!  My friend on that trip just passed away a few months ago. Blessings to you mi amigo viejo——————————————-

    • Edger on March 10, 2010 at 5:44 pm

    title this essay “Ecstasy”? I feel so warm and fuzzy after reading it. It makes me want to run right out and get myself an Annabel doll and go park somewhere.

    Yeah, yeah, I know… I’ll get over it.

    😉

  4. It looks like a unicorn, really.  

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