Gerard Alexander: Tell me again?

(10 am. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

Gerard Alexander, associate professor of Stupid Questions and AEI fellow, writes an op-ed in WaPo asking, “Why are liberals so condescending?”  Gee, I dunno, Doc.  

Why is Elmer Fudd a nitwit?  

Why do conservatives lack self-awareness?

Why can’t conservatives learn from experience?  

Why do conservatives conspire to destroy the country?  

Why do conservatives start illegal wars they can’t finish?  

Why are conservatives bad for financial systems?  

Why do conservatives demolish global economies?  

Why do conservatives shatter civilizations?

Why do conservatives destroy everything they touch?

Why are conservatives so self-assured and bone-headedly committed to facile orthodoxies?  

Why are conservatives bigots?  

Why are conservatives intolerant of women?  

Why are conservatives religiously intolerant?

Why are conservatives intolerant of immigrants?  

Why are conservatives intolerant of foreigners?

Why do conservatives love the rich?  

Why are conservatives intolerant of the poor?  

Why are conservatives intolerant of the aged?  

Why are conservatives intolerant of the sick?    

Why are conservatives intolerant of gays?  

Why do conservatives wear multiple wet-suits in their own accidental auto-erotic deaths by asphyxiation?  

Why do conservative Senators wear diapers with their prostitutes?  

Why are conservative Senators toe-tapping in men’s rooms?  

Why are conservative congressmen texting young male pages about the tumescence of their penises?

Why are conservatives morally retrograde?  

Why do conservatives tell lies as easily as they breathe?  

Why are conservatives recidivist criminals?

Why do conservatives love genocide?  

Why do conservatives crave torturing helpless humans?

Why do conservatives crave torturing innocent humans?  

Why do conservatives murder people and call it suicide?  

Why can’t the families of those “suicided” have their sons’ throats returned to them?

Why are conservatives sadistic?  

Why do conservatives live in a constant state of agitated fear?  

Why do conservatives wear self-twisting panties?    

Why is the conservative micturition reflex on a hair-trigger?  

Why do conservatives void their bowels every time someone says, “boo.”  

Why do conservatives hate Enlightenment values?  

Why do conservatives hate our Constitution?  

Why are conservatives contemptuous of laws?  

Why do conservatives hate the environment?  

Why do conservatives hate biodiversity?  

Why do conservatives hate evolution?    

Why do conservatives claim to be free-marketeers?

Why do conservatives love no-bid contracts?

Why do conservatives love monopolies?

Why do conservatives hate actual meritocracy?    

Why are conservatives so nepotistic?

Why is William Kristol’s face a waxen mask of Death?  

Why does Jonah Goldberg write books called “Liberal Fascism?”

Why does John Podhoretz collect a salary for anything?

Why does David Gregory dance with Karl Rove?

Why does Brit Hume visibly choke on his contempt for Juan Williams?  

Why are Judith Miller and Michael Gordon accomplices to war crimes?

Why is Fred Hiatt an inveterate douche?

Why is Dick Cheney made of the fecal plutonium of alien life-forms?  

Why is Karl Rove King of the Pig People rooting in shit?  

Why is Scooter Libby a felon?  

Why is Douglas Feith the fucking stupidest guy on the planet?  

Why does Don Rumsfeld feel unwelcome in France?  

Why is John Yoo an accomplice to torture?  

Why is Jay Bybee still sitting on the 9th circuit?  

Why is the Project for a New American Century doomed?

No, really, that’s just off the top of my head, Elmer.  Un-fucking-filtered.  How the fuck did you land a job?


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  1. tedious and obvious, that is.

    • Edger on February 6, 2010 at 15:47

    Gerard Alexander.

    Why are there wingnuts?

    • banger on February 7, 2010 at 02:36

    One of the most destructive journalist-politicians on the planet. Douche? If only, way too mild, man.  

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