The Bad Thing

(crossposted from The Free Speech Zone)

This is the story of the Bad Thing. It’s scary. Don’t read this without your mommy.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Once upon a time there were a bunch of happy people in Happyland.

happy people

Well, except for the Bad Thing.

bad thing

The happy people had always known there was a Bad Thing. Sometimes this thing, sometimes that thing, but the Real True Happy People (who were different from your average run-of-the-mill happy people) knew that all of that was really all the same Bad Thing.

Now, the RTHP knew very well that this state of affairs could not go on indefinitely. Something must be done about the Bad Thing.

But how oh how were they to find the Bad Thing and do it Justice?

The RTHP had a meeting. They met long, long into the night, until they had an Idea.

“We will lure the Bad Thing unto us!” they declared. “We will write unto the sky Posters about the Bad Thing and how the Bad Thing must be destroyed! And thus we will lure the Bad Thing unto us, and destroy it, perhaps after beating upon it a bit, and then all will be good in Happyland.”

And they did, they made many fine posters about the bad thing. And the run-of-the-mill happy people (ROTMHP) were truly afeared of this bad thing of which they had been apprised, and did search for it mightily over the land for many years, but never could they find the Bad Thing, though they did a fair amount of beating on other, smaller things.

But one day, a terrible calamity fell upon the land. A Monster arrived! and it did truly wreak havoc upon the ROTMHP, and wreaked a bit upon the RTHP as well. Then it died.

“Arise!” cried the RTHP. “The Bad Thing has come! You must find its spawn!”

And the people did. The people did arise, and they did indeed look for the spawn of the Bad Thing, and of all the other things they’d beaten on in the past, just in case. They looked in the woods, and they looked in the towns, and they looked in closets and basements and probably in your emailbox too. Ya never know where the Bad Thing might be.

But they never found the Bad Thing. I guess it was just too tricky (I warned you this was a scary story).

happy people laughing at you

It’s probably out there still, waiting to get you.

You better get another baseball bat.

Just in case.

Is the Pony/Pie/Hide rating system too cutsie?

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6 comments

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    • Miep on December 12, 2009 at 10:01 am
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    • Miep on December 12, 2009 at 10:28 am
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    here.

    • Miep on December 12, 2009 at 11:13 am
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    how did all those people get those dresses?

    • Miep on December 12, 2009 at 12:14 pm
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    posted as I have it on so many blogs.

    I got great feedback, and also these great images!

    My last word on this, for now, is that the run of the mill happy people who appear in bright dresses, in the last image, that somebody from naranja kindly lent me?

    They win. They’re the ones who stand there, more brilliantly accorded all the time.

    They are whom we should become.

    • Miep on December 12, 2009 at 12:59 pm
      Author

    Hey ! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me

    I’m not sleepy and there is no place I’m going to

    Hey ! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me

    In the jingle jangle morning I’ll come followin’ you.

    Though I know that evenin’s empire has returned into sand

    Vanished from my hand

    Left me blindly here to stand but still not sleeping

    My weariness amazes me, I’m branded on my feet

    I have no one to meet

    And the ancient empty street’s too dead for dreaming.

    Hey ! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me

    I’m not sleepy and there is no place I’m going to

    Hey ! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me

    In the jingle jangle morning I’ll come followin’ you.

    Take me on a trip upon your magic swirlin’ ship

    My senses have been stripped, my hands can’t feel to grip

    My toes too numb to step, wait only for my boot heels

    To be wanderin’

    I’m ready to go anywhere, I’m ready for to fade

    Into my own parade, cast your dancing spell my way

    I promise to go under it.

    Hey ! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me

    I’m not sleepy and there is no place I’m going to

    Hey ! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me

    In the jingle jangle morning I’ll come followin’ you.

    Though you might hear laughin’, spinnin’ swingin’ madly across the sun

    It’s not aimed at anyone, it’s just escapin’ on the run

    And but for the sky there are no fences facin’

    And if you hear vague traces of skippin’ reels of rhyme

    To your tambourine in time, it’s just a ragged clown behind

    I wouldn’t pay it any mind, it’s just a shadow you’re

    Seein’ that he’s chasing.

    Hey ! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me

    I’m not sleepy and there is no place I’m going to

    Hey ! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me

    In the jingle jangle morning I’ll come followin’ you.

    Then take me disappearin’ through the smoke rings of my mind

    Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves

    The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach

    Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow

    Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free

    Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands

    With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves

    Let me forget about today until tomorrow.

    Hey ! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me

    I’m not sleepy and there is no place I’m going to

    Hey ! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me

    In the jingle jangle morning I’ll come followin’ you.

    • Miep on December 12, 2009 at 1:04 pm
      Author

    newport folk festival 1964

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