Or better yet, nuke it back to the stone age.
Let’s just get it over with, shall we?
I mean, we are AMERICA dammit! We go where we want and do what we want and take what we want and we are more than willing to make shit up, forge evidence, lie to ourselves and the world and do whatever else it takes to justify our blatantly self interested actions.
But we ARE reasonable. We will after all only conquer places and kill masses of people (and wedding parties) if they pose a FULL 1% chance of maybe, perhaps, ever possibly attacking us in the near future…….or the medium future….or ever.
We lost almost three thousand people on 9/11, and have only killed hundreds of thousands of Muslims since then….maybe not even a million….yet. And we have only killed about double the number of our own troops/people who got killed on 9/11, to avenge the people who we lost on 9/11.
So let’s stop dithering….and conquer the WORLD!
Or we will never be absolutely safe, and only a 100% ironclad guarantee that we will never lose another American life to terrorism is good enough, right?
We have to prevent terrorism! Because it is possible, no matter what those egghead smart people say, to completely and absolutely prevent terrorism….IF…you kill enough people to do so.
And all that talk about how killing hordes of innocent people actually creates terrorists is just a DFH talking point. So what if the children of the people we kill grow up to be terrorists, we will kill THEM too!
We all know, deep in our jingoistic, terrified hearts, that we have to conquer, invade, occupy and kill anyone who poses even a one per cent threat to our Homeland, right?!? Those Evile Muslims wants our Womens! Any day now the Caliph’s Army, Navy and Air Force could rear it’s ugly beturbaned head and show up at our doorstep! So ….why wait?
There is a Muslim country that has nukes. It doesn’t matter that those nukes are well guarded, disassembled etc, and that the “terrorists don;t stand a chance in hell of getting their hands on them. Really, not even a 1% chance…it doesn’t matter. They are a threat. And any threat to the Homeland must be terminated with extreme prejudice, no matter how small or unlikely…or even ludicrous …it is.
If we can send 30,000 more troops to kill Muslims in order to eliminate the threat that they clearly pose to The Homeland…. from their mud huts and caves. If they are such a looming menace that we have to hunt down all 100 Al Qaeda….and anyone who has ever seen an Al Qaedan, and anyone named Al for that matter, to make sure they don’t attack The Homeland, so be it. Whatever it takes, no matter how bloody the fight, no matter who has to die. After all the best way to make sure that we are not attacked is to kill everyone who looks crosseyed at us, right? They must be KEELLEDED! I mean, that’ll teach em not to hate us and attack us!!!
Ok, so first we invade Pakistan, (Shut the fuck UP! I know we are broke and don’t have anymore troops or resources to do this shit, but we are being THREATENED dammit!) then, Somalia, then Indonesia (YES, all of Indonesia…AND Southeast Asia, just to be sure!!!) then Syria, Lebanon, and when we are done there we will start in on the ‘Stans!
Don’t even TALK to me about Iran, they are as good as dead already.
What? What’s that you say? We have a new president now, a Democrat? Not an evil Republican?
Ok, ok, we will Change.
We will only invade, kill, conquer, and occupy anyplace that poses a 2% chance of maybe, perhaps, ever possibly attacking us in the near future……or the medium future….or ever.
No matter how many Americans are killed by “terrorists” to stop another American from being killed by terrorists.
No matter how much it bankrupts us.
No matter how many people die.
No matter anything.
Including who is President.
Absolutely each and every American must be absolutely safe from absolutely everything for absolutely forever. No matter how many people, or our own sons and daughters, we have to kill to make it so.