Poor, Poor, Pitiful Christians

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Jealous of the Jewish monopoly on endless and warrantless persecution, Christians have entered the game of perpetual victim-hood by secular society and promise to fight for their rights to worship as they please, separation of Church and State be damned.

A formidable coalition of 150 Catholic, Orthodox and evangelical leaders are calling on Christians in a new manifesto to reject secular authority – and even engage in civil disobedience – if laws force them to accept abortion, same-sex marriage and other ideas that betray their religious beliefs.

Yup. The heathen government of infidels, emancipated women, liberals and communists are about to send the Christians to homosexual-abortion-science-fiction camps where they will be forced to eat fetus stew and accept the foreign ideology of common sense.



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On Friday, these leaders released a 4,700-word document – called the “The Manhattan Declaration: A Call of Christian Conscience.”

These formidable 21st Century Dark Age Christians believe there are three major problems unleashed by evil upon the world, namely feminism, fags and forced compliance to civil authority, which has destroyed the fabric of society and America’s true identity as one nation under Jesus.

The document also blasts the Obama administration, saying that social ills have grown since the election of President Obama, an abortion rights advocate, along with an erosion of what it calls “marriage culture” with the rise of divorce, greater acceptance of infidelity and the uncoupling of marriage from childbearing.

Oh yeah, and Obama is Satan-in-Chief.

And now for a musical interlude.

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You see, like the Jews, Christians have been persecuted since the beginning of time which began right after Jesus was crucified by the Romans for not being a good Jew. And of course, the current strange-bedfellow ideologies of Jerry Falwell and Meir Kahane notwithstanding, according to the Jesus freaks, being a good Jew is precisely the wrong thing to be, because otherwise what was the point of Jesus always complaining about the Rome-appeasing Sadducees and Pharisees?

Because after the Romans got rid of the last rightful King of the Jews, they sent the Lions after the Fish-sign folks. It was nothing personal in either case, it’s that monotheism doesn’t work in a polytheistic society, which Rome surely was, by the gods. Thankfully the pesky Christians eventually wore the Romans down and took over and, as is custom, built Churches on top of old Temples. But just because the Christians won doesn’t mean they stopped being victims of persecution. Oh no, just because the Church of Rome ruled the entire Western World for more than a millennia, doesn’t mean they weren’t always being harassed by Druids, magical mid-wives, artists and scientists.

You see to any law abiding Totalitarian, conformance and compliance to dogma must be complete and utter. There is no room for freedom of thought and action in a world view dominated by the absolute Word of God. Sinners must be protected against themselves and they must not be allowed to influence the weak-minded believer of shallow faith. Just because the earth orbits the sun doesn’t mean it’s true.

And finally after hundreds and hundreds of years of unrelenting persecution, the ultimate enemy of the Church rose to oppress its righteous and unlimited power; The United States of America. And after 234 years of being told they can’t do this and can’t do that – like hang niggers and murder doctors – they are mad as hell and aren’t going to take it anymore. And what took them so long; the Israelites are mad as hell and aren’t going to take it anymore after only 60 years of unrelenting oppression by Arabs.

So now the Christians are going to resist and rebel against the Great Satan of the United States.

“Throughout the centuries, Christianity has taught that civil disobedience is not only permitted, but sometimes required,” says the document which cited civil rights icon Martin Luther King and his willingness to go to jail for his beliefs.

“Because we honor justice and the common good,” it states, “we will not comply with any edict that purports to compel our institutions to participate in abortions, embryo-destructive research, assisted suicide or euthanasia or any other anti-life act; nor will we bend to any rule purporting to force us to bless immoral sexual partnerships, treat them as marriages or the equivalent, or refrain from proclaiming the truth, as we know it, about morality and immorality and marriage and the family.”

You shouldn’t look at Sarah Palin as a laughable nutjob, but more like Joan de Arc. Armies of believers will follow her into battle. Against you.

After generations of secular oppression and intimidation and being forced underground, the Christians are emboldened by the obvious end-times as self-fulfilling prophecy fulfills itself and the writing on the wall is writ so large no one can deny it. Israel is reconstituted in the Final Days, plagues are unleashed upon the world, earthquakes, volcanoes and out of control decadent celebrities like the Whore of Babylon, Lindsey Lohan, spread the false gospel of cheap thrills and money-for-nothing. (And by the way I’m willing to pay BIG MONEY for the Lohan/Ronson sex tape.)

So buckle up boys and girls. Get ready for the New Inquisition. Get ready for witch burnings and tortures which make Abu Ghraib look like Barnum and Bailey.

Jesus is on his way in a chariot of fire with a flaming sword and vengeance on his mind.

Love is for pussies.

 

13 comments

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    • gottlieb on November 23, 2009 at 3:09 pm
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  1. All you have to do is replace it with another one.

    I mean you just gotta have an enemy.  The communist scourge of the Soviet empire, then the Islamic wackjob terrorists and up next are the evil Project Blue Beam space invaders.  It’s all the same doom and gloom crap day after day.  We should actually be getting better actors than a Kenyan Muslim by which to lead the former US into the evil globalist fold.  I mean look at our enemies list, Iran, North Korea, rather areas of the world NOT into the globalist trading scams.  Christ they even got China making Intel chips.

    So,the elephant room question remains.  How long before the swine vaccine offs people.

    • TMC on November 23, 2009 at 5:52 pm

    If they don’t want to an abortion or marry someone of the same sex, who is forcing them?

    And since when are guns a Christian ideal. Did Jesus preach self defense? As I recall he preached peace and understanding.

    Taxes..render unto Caesar..isn’t that about paying your dues to the state and keeping the state out of the church and vice versa? If the churches are going to meddle in state affairs, perhaps they should lose their tax exempt status

    To the American Taliban.. stay out of my bedroom and my doctor’s office and out of our government.  

    • Adam on November 26, 2009 at 12:02 am

    People have been wondering what meat it was those Southern Baptists were putting in their Brunswick Stew and selling it to every one else in the South but themselves.

    I never did actually see a Southern Baptist eat any of the Brunswick Stew they sell every Sunday after church. They just sell it.

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