BREAKING! U.S. Bans Alternative Historical Accounts of All Wars

The United States has officially banned all historical accounts of all U.S involved wars except the officially government sanctioned version.  In a move that many see as one-upmanship over Israel, which has banned anything that disputes the official version of the Holocaust, and Russia, which has banned any unofficial accounts of World War II, the incredible disinformation spread by anarchist historians has been nipped in the bud.…

President Obama announced the unprecedented move with the following statement:

“This country was founded on the basic premise of freedom and democracy.  I have hope and I know you do as well, that we can continue to maintain that foundation for our country.  The American people fully realize how I am completely devoted to change.  So in the spirit of change and patriotism and in honor of those who fought and lost their lives for these ideals, I hereby declare today “National Historical Accuracy Day”.    This will ensure all Americans, whether they be black or white, male or female, republican or democrat, idiot or imbecile, can rely on an accurate history of this great country.  From this day forward, and in symbolism with the great historically accurate holiday, “Columbus Day”, I hereby declare October 9th as “National Historical Accuracy Day.”

Zogby polls immediately reflected a dramatic increase in favorable numbers for the President, especially among the illiterate and the centrist progressives, i.e., the Obamabots as they call themselves.   One of the leaders of the centrist progressive blogosphere, Micky Molitov, made the following statement on his prominent blog, The Daily Waste of Time (DWOT.  Not coincidentally in consonance with the GWOT, Global War on Terror):

“There is no greater thing that our Dear Leader could have done at this time.  Thing, or action, or whatever, you know what I mean.  It’s kind of like a thing, but also an action.  I’m not sure, but whatever, he is the President.  The trolls have become unbearable on this site and on many others that are seeking the truth simply because of these alternative, tinfoil, conspiracy theories about our great history.  Any true patriot should be proud that our history has been protected by our President  The truth always wins out”.    

It remains to be seen what will happen to all of the bogus historical accounts.  Obama has promised a full review and a possible Czar of Historical Accuracy that could fully address this complex issue.   Senators Baucus and Leiberman have been appointed to explore the way forward.  


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    • Underdog on October 9, 2009 at 05:38
    • Miep on October 9, 2009 at 05:47

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