For Budhy

Hey you all. I know I am sadly unable to participate to the extent I would like here, especially with my own Mother-in-law’s issues, at 90 and dying right now.

I do know, my husband, an only child is in agony 24/7 right now, its the 800 lb gorilla of grief. I lost both my parents. Been there.

Right now, he walks balk in spent, and feels everything is his responsibility, or that people are faulting him, and I imagine budhy feels much the same way. He is soul weary and touchy and in pain. He needs hugs and a safe place.

Lets give him a week of good feelings and Peace. The rest may not be all about him, but we can make Something about him and for him.

Even if its one song, one essay a day to tell him we value him.

Budhy dear, people are imperfect and I for one, not to speak for anyone else, do not hold you responsible for anyone else, and am proud of the job you’ve done here.

I hold you in my heart, and want a happy place for you now, and hope everyone can think of you first and themselves second, as if someone in their family had been lost.

Hope to see a bunch of “For Budhy” essays sprout. Love to all.

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    • Diane G on July 13, 2009 at 1:45 am
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  1. for cutting through the BS and getting to what’s important.

    Budhy, if you’re reading this, please take care of yourself. And know that I’m thinking of you.

  2. you one time gave me this song instead of a pony when I was blue, so I give it back.


    • Joy B. on July 13, 2009 at 4:51 am

    I too am dealing with an 87-year old mother-in-law who is fading fast (last remaining parent), hospitalized twice since we were there just last week trying to talk her into an assisted living home while she still had a choice (other than living alone in a too-big house a thousand miles away). Now it looks more like a nursing home, and that’s positively tragic – for her and my hubby and my brother-in-law and all our kids who love her immensely.

    Last one standing. My only remaining worst nightmare (the rest have already come true). On the way home I met my sisters and niece and nephews and various assorted in-laws to send my brother and sister’s ashes over Cumberland Falls during the moonbow. Then came home, my son’s son and mom and stepfather were here, we scattered son’s ashes in the rose garden and down at the pet cemetary (and gave some to grandson, kept some too). It was time, it’s been 17 years. Son died when grandson was two.

    Sigh. I feel for all of us, but life has a way of inevitably devolving into death. Unless we are lucky enough to die young, some of our worst nightmares will inevitably come true. Strength to you, and of course to Buhdy too.

  3. …all the great folks here.  You brought a good group together, buhdy!

  4. just because the line “I commenced to shakin’ and I said ‘oo-ee'” is so funny in its hillbilly-osity but the only youtube of it that has Sheb Woolley is downright frightening!

    Instead here are two others that could make me convert…


    • RiaD on July 13, 2009 at 3:02 pm

    • Edger on July 13, 2009 at 5:01 pm

  5. Loved ones, be they yours or buddhy’s, should be celebrated.  When my mom died, I considered that she would now have the chance to commune under the bodhi tree with buddha and perhaps come back as a bee or something of the sort.  I haven’t cried about her dying.

    • TMC on July 13, 2009 at 6:55 pm

    Just when you think you have moved on to acceptance and peace, something sends you back into the depths of your loss. We need to understand that the loss of a parent, a loved one is painful and will be for a long time. Yes, painful. It is not just emotional painful but physically. Grief needs a gentle touch. It needs understanding, patience and love. Peace and love, budhy. Blessed be.

  6. Im getting ready to throw up a new one, Monday.

    Im totally goofing off now. eek. lol

  7. Really!

    But it ain’t all about ME either!

  8. you need it so do the rest of us. Sometimes we all get to the point where inspiration is the only balm that restores.  

  9. I recently experienced the first anniversary of my dad’s passing on July 3rd, so have been thinking about him even more than usual as of late.

    I hope the message in this song may provide some comfort, hope and encouragement to anyone experiencing the many forms of loss that all too often intrude upon our lives uninvited.  

    This wonderful song was written by Charlie Chaplin and performed by Michael Jackson.  I hope the music and video can brighten your day, as it has mine.

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