I Will Neither Tweet Nor Twitter!

( – promoted by buhdydharma )

There is a new (well, not really that new) tool for social networking that the Dog is sure that everyone here has heard about, Twitter. This service is based on the idea that you would want or need to communicate with your community in bursts of text that are restricted to 140 characters long. This is not a system that the Dog will ever, under any foreseeable circumstances use.

There are those that get a great feeling of belonging from the various social networks and there is, without a doubt, a benefit to certain kinds of marketing, but the idea of micro-blogging is anathema to the Dog. First off there is a decent into the banal that is inevitable with such a limited form and the pressure to fill the gapping, sucking content void of any on-line application. I do not give two hoots if David Gregory is having a bagel. When I hear from Mr. Gregory, I want it to be in the form of him providing me with news, real news, not if there is butter on a beagle or is it cream cheese?

The premise of Twitter was that it would provide a structured way to limit information passed to just the essentials. As someone that receives over 100 e-mails a day, the Dog can appreciate that desire, but fails to address the real problem with instant communication, namely the tendency for that instant communication to become a great shouting throng, all of whom feel that they must share there every thought and deed with others in order to validate their existence. Yes, the Dog know this is more that a little ironic coming from someone that hammers out 1,000 words five days a week, but gentle read, the Dog does not do it for validation, he does this to organize his thoughts and rarely to amuse, entertain and educate. That may or may not be self-justification, but that is what is going on in this hounds skull.

This is not to say that there is not a place for social networks. They do allow people to be creative, to find those with similar interests and activities that they might never meet otherwise. In our isolated and disconnected society this must be a benefit. Anything that allows human connection is a positive, in the Dogs not so humble opinion, but Twitter runs smack into another problem with its methodology of brevity.

Brevity has been called the soul of wit, if that is true then the Dog is, at the very best, a half wit. This loquaciousness is intentional on the Dog’s part. One of the very few things that is unique to the human species is our ability to speak and through that the development of written language. Any time that we set ourselves up to reduce the ability to use this facility to its fullest; we are diminishing our greatest accomplishment as a species, as a talking Dog this is felt by your diarist even more keenly!  In 140 characters there is no room for the majesty that is possible in a longer form. It is true that one could string many Tweets together to express some longer and complex thoughts, but what is the point? Why not just use a form or forum where you can give free reign to the flow of thoughts?  

So, call the Dog an old fuddy-duddy that does not get the new, hip and slick technologies. It might even be completely true and accurate, but this is one hound that will never Tweet nor Twitter. If the Dog wanted to limit his ability to full, clearly and overwhelmingly express an idea, he would turn to Haiku.  


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  1. Tell me why I am wrong in 140 charterers or less!  

  2. I think nobody gives a shit about hearing when I have brushed my teeth.

    I mildly do Facebook in a half assed way. I look at people’s pictures of their kids and say things like,”Cute kids!”

    In defense of Facebook and Twitter we are a nation of nomads. I don’t live in the same city/town as my parents or long term friends. That whole “unique” neighborhood vibe that many American cities once had has been destroyed by suburbs and ex-burbs with the exception of a few cities like Boston or New York.

    You work your ass off at work with people you often have nothing in common with drive to your Stalinist suburb so your kids can go to a public school where people actually graduate maybe go work a second shift at another job just to pay the bills. North American every day life is just the opposite of social.

    I see why and how people do it. Much of it is stupid as hell but it just speaks to how desperate people are to make connections.

  3. via videosift.com

  4. dismissal of the entire internet culture on Saturday, I am inclined to start facebooking and twittering.

    • kj on March 2, 2009 at 7:31 pm

    @Dog  drinking v-8 juice! with pepper! pics to come!

  5. Yeah, I just did that.


    • Edger on March 3, 2009 at 4:01 am

    I don’t buy lottery tickets. I’m not allowed to. My IQ isn’t low enough. I think I’m within 140, no? 😉

  6. the opportunity to view the stars of the universe from a rural non light polluted location that vast wonder might amaze you.  My shaman side is conflicting with my engineer side once again bring up the subject of the recent focus of technology being how best to shove the maximum amounts of propaganda into digitally encoded serial bandwidth (ie)

    when they want you to have an opionion they will give it to you.  Oh and hey all you carbon footprinters could you perhaps deal with walking a few feet to get to a phone instead of powering up thousands of repeater towers because those frequencies that nuke the nutrients out of your 30 second meal don’t transmit much further than line of sight so your God given right to ask “Can you hear me now” might be a tad frivolous.

  7. I got a myspace after a group of friends told me it was “the” way they kept in touch. Within a few months, they all abandoned it.

    Aside: WTF happened to e-mail?

    Then I got on FaceBook after my grad school said we all “needed” it to keep up with the career center’s doings. Needless to say, I have never used it for that. I do have more than 100 “friends,” many of whom I rarely if ever communicate with.

    Now I’m supposed to sign up for a service that sends me a text whenever some idiot I knew in high school discovers a brand new nose goblin? I don’t think so.

    Maybe this will be the next big thing, but I really doubt it. I don’t need to be that connected to the world that I waste my time with “time vampires.”

  8. Some stories are so exciting, we want to be there so badly, that telegraphic sentences paint pictures.  Plus it is a great organizing tool!

    • dkmich on March 3, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    All of this is so trivial.  When there are great blogs with great essays, the last thing I want is twin twits tweeting on twitter twice. 🙂  

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