No Pardons

“I don’t have any reason to believe that anybody in the agency did anything illegal,” he said.

(On Waterboarding) “It’s been used with great discrimination by people who know what they’re doing and has produced a lot of valuable information and intelligence,” he said, sitting in an arm chair in his West Wing office.

“There is no way I am backing down or bursting my reality bubble just because everything I made George do was wrong, illegal, immoral and ultimately harmful to the US. I would wiretap DFH’s and torture brown people til the cows come home again and again, because that is just the kind of macho studly dude I am. Badges? I don’t need no stinking badges! If I do it is IS legal! And you can shove your pardon up your ass AND….”


Ok, I MAY have misquoted him on that last one a bit.

Cheney then shot his arms into the air, both hands making a “v for victory” gang sign and yelled out….”I am NOT a War Criminal!”

Accepting a pardon is an admission of guilt, of wrongdoing. And while lesser mortals in the pipeline of the Dick Cheney Industrial Torture Network that included strings of secret torture prisons, torture ships and even a torture airline may be a bit nervous, Dick will never wilt.

Admitting guilt by accepting a pardon would open a can of worms that contains civil rights prosecutions, civil lawsuits, and international prosecutions. In addition to wounded pride, admitting he was wrong about something or anything, and a readjustment of his adamantine, if completely erroneous, world view of black hats and white hats.

But, the Bush/Cheney apologist mewl, they have kept us safe from another attack! They foiled shoe bombers and folks who wanted to make impossible liquid bombs and other terrorist fantasies….that never had a chance of occurring and that all of the terroristic anti-terror measures that Dick instigated had NOTHING to do with stopping. All Dick did was throw away Americas claim to any kind of moral high ground and make US into a nation of terrorists, make us into a nation of torturers. Reduce us to a level BELOW those who we are fighting by throwing every human value of a proud nation down the toilet.

He don’t need our stinking pardon!


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  1. Photobucket

    In the parallel dimension of Cheney.

  2. It’s actually sort of a barnacle these days.

    • robodd on January 10, 2009 at 04:02

    Cheney should be like OJ and encourage, and actively carry on, an nvestigation of himself.  His good name is at stake after all.

    • Edger on January 10, 2009 at 04:43


    Heh! Even Hunter Thompson wouldn’t do that!

    To say this goofy child president psycho veep is looking more and more like Richard Nixon in the summer of 1974 would be a flagrant insult to Nixon.

    Whoops! Did I say that? Is it even vaguely possible that some New Age Republican whore-beast of a false president psycho veep could actually make Richard Nixon look like a Liberal?

    The capacity of these vicious assholes we elected to be in charge of our lives for four eight years to commit terminal damage to our lives and our souls and our loved ones is far beyond Nixon’s. Shit! Nixon was the creator of many of the once-proud historical landmarks that these dumb bastards are savagely destroying now: the Clean Air Act of 1970; Campaign Finance Reform; the endangered species act; a Real-Politik dialogue with China; and on and on.

    The prevailing quality of life in America-by any accepted methods of measuring-was inarguably freer and more politically open under Nixon than it is today in this evil year of our Lord 2002 2009.

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