Industry CEO’s Tell Country To Get F*cked, Demand Gov’t Bailout

(11 am. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

Waving a little evidence of a limp economy in the faces of lawmakers and the country two more on top corptocracy industrialists yesterday demanded 5 billion dollars from Washington that they say is needed to stiffen their industry and their market penetration, while telling Congress that “if you don’t give us the money thousands of the little f*ckers will be out of jobs” and the only way to save their businesses from blowing their loads and collapsing with a groan is to tell the whole country and their entire customer base to, in the words of both of them, “Get fu*cked! And like it.

House Madam Nancy Pelosi and Senate Fluffer Harry Reid issued a joint statement in response, saying “Ooooooooh! We’re easy and we’ll probably do anything you ask, but we both need our share of the 5 billion.

Both industry CEO’s, at that point knowing they had managed to move beyond any debate over what they were now dealing with to only the price of what they were dealing with, then lit cigarettes, sat back, smiled, and sighed with obvious pleasure on their faces in anticipation of another round of intercourse on the floor of the house that would bring negotiations to a climax and every expectation of Congressional lawmakers from both sides of the aisle and both sexes getting down on their knees, or bending over, or both, to satisfy the industrialists every demand. For free.

AFP via RawStory:

Wednesday January 7, 2009

Two porn moguls including Hustler magazine founder Larry Flynt are seeking a five-billion-dollar bailout from Washington, arguing that the limp US economy has thrown cold water on the adult entertainment industry.

Flynt and “Girls Gone Wild” video series creator Joe Francis asked the newly convened 111th Congress “to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America” in a bailout move similar to the one set aside for US auto manufacturers.

“Congress seems willing to help shore up our nation’s most important businesses, (and) we feel we deserve the same consideration,” Francis said in a statement.

“In difficult economic times, Americans turn to entertainment for relief. More and more, the kind of entertainment they turn to is adult entertainment.”

The pair were quick to admit that “the 13-billion-dollar industry is in no fear of collapse, but why take chances?”

Francis, recently imprisoned for nearly a year on a prostitution-related charge after pleading no contest in a plea bargain, cited industry figures that show adult DVD sales and rentals decreasing 22 percent in 2008, as people turn to the Internet for adult entertainment.

“With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind,” Flynt said.

“It’s time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly.”

Flynt said people were “too depressed to be sexually active.”

“This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such, but they cannot do without sex.”

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    • Edger on January 8, 2009 at 1:54 pm
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    • Edger on January 9, 2009 at 6:52 pm
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    What an orgasmic front page. 😉

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