The Day The Earth Stood Still, or,

How to Kill a Canadian


You probably missed it in the local news, but there was a report that

someone in Pakistan had advertised in a newspaper an offer of a reward

to anyone who killed a Canadian – any Canadian.

An Australian dentist wrote the following editorial to help define what

a Canadian is, so they would know one when they found one.

A Canadian can be English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German,

Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. A Canadian can be Mexican, African,

Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, Arab,

Pakistani, or Afghan.

A Canadian may also be a Cree, Metis, Mohawk, Blackfoot, Sioux, or one

of the many other tribes known as native Canadians.  A Canadian’s

religious beliefs range from Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu,

or none.  In fact, there are more Muslims in Canada than in Afghanistan

.  The key difference is that in Canada they are free to worship as each

of them chooses.  Whether they have a religion or no religion, each

Canadian ultimately answers only to God, not to the government, or to

armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God.

A Canadian lives in one of the most prosperous lands in the history of

the world.  The root of that prosperity can be found in the Charter of

Rights and Freedoms, which recognize the right of each person to the

pursuit of happiness.

A Canadian is generous and Canadians have helped out just about every

other nation in the world in their time of need, never asking a thing in

return. Canadians welcome the best of everything, the best products, the

best books, the best music, the best food, the best services, and the

best minds.

But they also welcome the least – the oppressed, the outcast, and the


These are the people who built Canada .  You can try to kill a Canadian

if you must as other bloodthirsty tyrants in the world have tried but in

doing so you could just be killing a relative or a neighbour.  This is

because Canadians are not a particular people from a particular place.

They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom.  Everyone who

holds to that spirit, everywhere, can be a Canadian.


Skip to comment form

    • Edger on December 29, 2008 at 03:35

    Don’t answer to government or thugs? Don’t hate? Prosperous? Happy? Have rights and freedoms? Helpful to others? Selfless? Like the best of everything? Welcoming? Have spirit?

    What the hell is wrong with them? It must be a setup. They obviously must want something. These decadent people can’t be real.

    Can they?

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