CunniFoseMahone-VitteSpitzeOjevich.

(noon. – promoted by ek hornbeck)

So, an insider source tells me that hours before being picked up by the FBI, Illinois Governor Blagojevich met with Idaho Senator Larry Craig in a bathroom stall on former California Congressman Duke Cunningham’s former yacht the “Duke-Stir” (current Louisiana Congressman David Vitter standing nearby with extra Huggies in case anything got out of hand) to discuss how much of the cash found next to the Chunkey Monkey in soon-to-be-former Congressman William Jefferson’s freezer it would take to pay off former Governor of New York Elliot Spitzer’s hooker to keep quiet about lame-duck, but very fertile Congressman Vito Fossella’s secret family, which Fosella met while teaching former Florida Congressman Mark Foley how to “LOL” and “BRB” and “How big is your cock?” instant messages into the future to the soon-to-be secret girlfriend of the already-disgraced and soon-to-be former Florida Congressman Tim Mahoney, who was in discussion with Indicted Senator Ted Stevens about adding a free “lap pool” to Stevens soon-to-be jail cell, which he will share with former-former Illinois Governor George Ryan as well as the actor who used to play Willis on “Different Strokes”.

And I haven’t even started with the EXECUTIVE branch.

There’s a Chinese curse which reads:

“May you live in interesting times.”

May I hereby suggest we adapt said curse to read:

“May you be represented by interesting men.”

10 comments

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    • Edger on December 10, 2008 at 04:28

  1. I hate to wreck the point of your essay but I had to hyphenate your title.  It’s breaking the margins.  

    Still think it’s funny though.  

    • Robyn on December 10, 2008 at 05:52

    And they said it would never blow over (so to speak) for Jim McGreevey.

  2. …Can hardly wait for the Executive sequel!

  3. money and sex…the grease that keeps the wheels rolling! Wanna take bets about whether Blogojevich has a few hidden honeys on the side too? He seemed to have the f-bomb on his mind, didn’t he?

  4. and this guy was t-o-a-s-t. Pay close attention friends, Obama knows how to play politics Chicago-style. He comes off as Mr. Inclusive to the public, but I have no doubt that behind the scenes he can bust skulls with the best of them. Some rethugs are gonna learn this the hard way starting on 1.20.09.

    Please pass the popcorn.

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