Tiny Archers Save America From Wall Street Fat Cats

( – promoted by buhdydharma )

While normal Americans were watching the Dodgers-Cubs game on Wednesday night, the Senate passed the bailout bill on a 74-25 vote.  The House was unable to pass the bill on Monday, but the Senate fixed the glaring problems of that bill and it breezed through with bipartisan support.  How did the Senate fix and pass the bailout bill?  They added a provision to repeal an excise tax on wooden arrows designed for children.  Now why didn’t the House think of that?

Senators attached a provision repealing a 39-cent excise tax on wooden arrows designed for children to an historic $700 billion financial-markets rescue that passed tonight by a vote of 74-25. The provision, originally proposed by Oregon senators Ron Wyden and Gordon Smith, will save manufacturers such as Rose City Archery in Myrtle Point, Oregon, about $200,000 a year.

(snip)

Representatives for Wyden, a Democrat, and Smith, a Republican, didn’t immediately return calls.

This wasn’t enough for Senator Wyden (D), who still voted against the bailout.  But it apparently swayed Senator Smith (R), who voted in favor of the bailout.

I don’t have to tell you that the mortgage crisis has hit the children’s wooden arrow industry especially hard.  Kids need loans to buy arrows, and with falling equity on their houses and ballooning mortgage payments to make, these kids are having a tough time making ends meet.  The subsequent falling demand for wooden arrows then impacts the manufacturers of these arrows, and spreads to related industries such as replacement bow strings and Band-Aids.    

That’s not all that was necessary to get the Senate bill passed:

Other, smaller provisions, such as one that will save Nascar track builders $109 million this year, have been staples of the tax code since 2004 or earlier. They periodically expire and are renewed, and include hundreds of millions of dollars of tax incentives for companies that invest on Indian reservations, in the District of Columbia, and American Samoa. Other breaks would subsidize renovations of restaurant franchises and cut import duties on wool and wood.

Will this be enough to get the bill through the House?  A spokesman for Minority Leader John Boehner said these tax breaks “will increase the appeal of the package for our members.”  

Ahhhh . . . now I get it.  Bailing out banks is un-American because it only bails out banks.  If we bail out other businesses too, everything is now fair and just.  The House is expected to vote Friday on the revised bill.  One House member seems ready to switch already:

California’s David Dreier said Thursday morning that “I hated” the initial version of the bill but that he plans to vote for it this time around.

“I was very concerned with the proposal that came forward that would have allowed golden parachutes to go forward,” said Dreier, a Republican. But he said he likes the new version because “it puts into place growth-oriented tax cuts.”

Congress finally gets it.  America needs a growing children’s wooden arrow industry to lead us out of the financial crisis.  The President has not been able to provide this leadership.  Congressional leaders have not been able to provide this leadership.  The Treasury Secretary has not been able to provide this leadership.  It is the children, with their tiny bows and wooden arrows, who are the future of this great country, and they shall lead the way.  And I wouldn’t want to get in front of them.  Tiny archers don’t have the best aim.  

23 comments

Skip to comment form

  1. I know what I’m talking about here because I got a merit badge for archery when I was a Boy Scout.

  2. “Welcome to Sherwood!”

  3. my stepdaughter isn’t half bad.

    • Alma on October 2, 2008 at 5:20 pm

    This has to be one of the best essay titles I’ve ever seen.  It immediatly conveys congresses absurdity with sticking non germaine things all over in bills to get them to pass.  

  4. mentioned the tiny archers.

    He also provided a breath of fresh air sanity in all the fear-mongering and ranting about what’s happening.

  5. –We may have to use them when we take to the streets to fight off..



        the 3rd Infantry, 1st Brigade Combat Team

    …in the expression of our First Amendment right to dissent.

    • robodd on October 2, 2008 at 9:15 pm

    pitchforks.  Torches.  Whatever’s necessary.

Comments have been disabled.