How I Stole The Election: A Confession

( – promoted by buhdydharma )

Criminal masterminds come from the strangest places. Look at Harvey “Two Face” Dent. Or Lex Luthor. Or Cat Woman.

Well, you have a new name to add to that list: grannyhelen.

Sure, I may look mild-mannered. I’m a 40 year-old, stay-at-home mom of two young kids whose alias is a tribute to my own great-grandmother. I write about nonviolence and politics in between changing diapers and baking cookies. You’d see me on my walk with my two-year-old and never think to yourself: this is the woman who is rending the fabric of our Democracy.

But you’d be wrong.

Like all criminals, I started small. A diary here. A diary there. Posting on Daily Kos, and Progressive Blue, and DocuDharma and mydd. Just a few sentences about how I felt about the latest news or turns in a political campaign. Or even the occassional rant.

Blogging is a gateway drug to more political involvement.

Not content with just sitting on my keester, I ventured onto candidate websites. I looked at their policies. I reviewed their plans and listened to their speeches. I phonebanked and canvassed.

And then, the turning point, when my criminal activities came to a head.

Bear with me, this is hard to write about.

I went onto this guy’s website:… . I started small. Just a $5.00 donation. Then a t-shirt. A bumpersticker.

And then a….a….refrigerator magnet!

I confess! It’s me! By single handedly donating somewhere around $40.00 to Barack Obama’s campaign I have stolen this election! I am the new ACORN. You may as well call me GrannyAyers.

I am Obama’s Secret Donor.

The deviousness of my criminality is rapidly spiraling out of control. Not just satisfied on stealing the presidential election, I started to get involved in local races, like this one:

But I’m not alone. I have secret accomplices – associates, if you will – who are also knee deep in the shady practice of participating in our democracy.

Time to fess up, all of you. Confess right now to what you have done. Tell us all what you’ll be doing from now until election day to steal this election by donating your time, money and energy to getting out the vote.

Rick Davis is demanding full disclosure – let’s give it to him.


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    • Robyn on October 21, 2008 at 6:51 pm

    Our GLBT community radio show originated from the top floor of their office building in Little Rock.  They didn’t seem to be subversive, but then, I was already socialistic by nature.  

  1. Great essay grannyhelen.

    But my lips are sealed – I’m going to claim the 5th!!!!!!

  2. …the planet, one $5.00 contribution at a time.  The reality that the GOP’ers have p.o.’d so many of the “little” people to the point that so many of them would actually throw a few bucks to the opposition party is apparently incomprehensible to rick davis & his bully boys & gals.

  3. AT MY JOB! Strictly against the rules.  

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