Vote Republican!

If you make over 5 million a year, you choice is clear, Vote Republican!

If your children are over draft age, Vote Republican!

If you think the REAL elites will let you in their club someday, Vote Republican!

If you like bailing out Wall St. with your tax dollars, Vote Republican!

If you fear that whites are losing ground, Vote Republican

If you don’t care if we kill some foreigners to get more oil, Vote Republican!

If you think America should rule the world, Vote Republican!

If you think black people are uppity,  Vote Republican!

If your SUV is important enough to justify torture, Vote Republican!

If you can’t make decisions regarding your own uterus, Vote Republican!

If you like $4 a gallon gas, Vote Republican!

If you think Sith Lords are just misunderstood……

Photobucket

Vote Republican!

IIf you think a border wall will stop starving people, Vote Republican!

If you like learning geography through invading new exciting countries, Vote Republican!

If you think having money means being favored by God, Vote Republican!

If you think Muslims will invade America, Vote Republican!

If you think healthcare is for the rich, Vote Republican!

If you think Veterans are coddled, Vote Republican!

If you like being spied on by your government, Vote Republican!

If you like inflation and unemployment, Vote Republican!

If you think security is more important than liberty, Vote Republican!

If poor people deserve to be poor, Vote Republican!

If you think George Bush is a good president,  Vote Republican!

If you hate Polar Bears, Vote Republican!

If you think marijuana is the devils weed, Vote Republican!

If you are afraid that terrorists will attack Kansas, Vote Republican!

If you like buying foreclosed houses cheap, Vote Republican!

If you like unplanned teenage pregnancies,  Vote Republican!

If you think abstinence only works, Vote Republican!

If skin color darker than pale makes you clutch your purse, Vote Republican!

If you’re afraid you might commit sodomy if it isn’t illegal, Vote Republican!

If it doesn’t bother you that 12% of Americans live below the poverty line, Vote Republican!

If you hate unions, Vote Republican!

If you like bank failures, Vote Republican!

If you think hurricanes are caused by parades, Vote Republican!

If Dick Cheney strikes you as a nice guy, Vote Republican!

If corporations are more important than people, Vote Republican!

If having THREE economic classes is one too many, Vote Republican!

If you think the planet is 6000 years old, Vote Republican!

If you like government corruption, Vote Republican!

If you think middle schools are veterans hospitals, Vote Republican!

If you don’t own a house on the rising coastline, Vote Republican!

If you are an aficionado of clever lying and spin, Vote Republican!

If you think you may ‘catch teh gay,’ Vote Republican!

If science scares you, Vote Republican!

If you are worried that we might lose the world lead in incarceration, Vote Republican!

If you think having a habitable planet is not important, Vote Republican!

If world peace is overrated, Vote Republican!

If you think ‘do unto others’ is a con job, Vote Republican!

39 comments

Skip to comment form

  1. Photobucket

  2. during this 57 day (57 day!!) countdown to the election & not be distracted by playing into the GOP’er game of making Palin & Senator McPOW into “victims”.  It’s time to show how they’ve made US victims by supporting and defending Bush for the last 7+ years.

  3. Just so everyone understands, since 1989, according to the HCPDS was ordered by Congress, all American males and some females from ages 20 to age 54 are considered draftable by the Selective Service Administration.

    So buhdy, you ain’t off the hook yet!

  4. especially the ones that made my stomach lurch with the power of their punch.

    I’d love for the Obama campaign or a group like Moveon to get ahold of this.

    Bravo!!!!!!

  5. …I just can’t take that many “Vote Repub..”s!  It’s just too much!

    I will have to risk ruining your meter and your scan by adding an “Even” before the “If” and a “Don’t” before the “Vote”.

    So, a sample line would read:

    “Even” If you think America should rule the world, “Don’t” Vote Republican!

    I know this wrecks your irony, sarcasm and all that, but I can’t take that much repetition of “Vote Repub..”!

    Please boss, I beseech you to understand and try to forgive me!

    • Alma on September 6, 2008 at 8:57 pm

    This is wonderful buhdy.  I think we should print the list up, and hand them out.

    This part hit my nephew not too long ago:

    If you are worried that we might lose the world lead in incarceration, Vote Republican!

    The local jail had some empty cells, (there was an article 2 days before about the jail being down on prisoners and that because of that it wasn’t running at peak efficiency) so everyone that went to court that day ended up serving jail time for things that normally they would not.

  6. finish the poem time.

    Sarah Palin’s daughter is a little slut

    Obama’s little brother turned up living in a hut

    John McCain, he crashed his plane more times than I can count

    Joe Biden needed hair plugs cuz his real hair fell out.

    John Edwards got some on the side, it didn’t work out well

    Huckabee said vote for me or else you’ll go to hell.

    Hillary dodged bullets that were nowhere to be found

    Rudy gave us 9/11 complete with verb and noun.

    Romney has enough kids for like half a baseball team

    Dennis rode from stop to stop atop a pale moonbeam

    Grandpa Fred was almost dead, he couldn’t stay awake

    And Mike Gravel did not so well with rocks thrown in a lake.

    Continue, by all means.

    • RiaD on September 6, 2008 at 9:10 pm

    this move has done you well!!!!!!!!

    would you mind very much if i sent this as a LTE to my (tiny)local newspaper??

    my goodness~ i’m laughing so hard so i won’t cry…….

Comments have been disabled.