( – promoted by buhdydharma )
No, Virginia. There is no global warming!
Do you know how I know this, Virginia? Because those well known and highly decorated Scientists, Rush Limpbaugh,PhV (Physician, Viagara), Sean Hannity,WnGnT (Wingnut), and Neal Boortz, LnC (Libertarian Nutcase) have told me in no uncertain terms that it is SO.
Who, in their Right(wing) Mind could possibly have the expertise in this field to actually stand up to these “Keepers of the Truth and the American Way” and offer a different opinion?
Certainly not Fox News! That bastion of the Fair and Balanced coverage of all things great and small would never give in to the temptation to try their hand at discouraging their viewers from not believing any single word uttered by the above mentioned “brilliant scientists of hate radio.”
In fact, Fox News has their very own theory that they pulled directly out of their collective asses regarding why global warming is not the cause for the melting of Planet Earth’s Arctic ice.
Let’s see what they have to say on this issue, below.
From Baseball, Hot Dogs, Apple Pie and Fox News:
Huge Volcanoes May Be Erupting Under Arctic Ice
OK,OK!! Stop RIGHT there! Volcanoes MAY be erupting under Arctic Ice? My ass might be able to fit into a pair of 30″ waist Levi bluejeans too, but then again….
New evidence deep beneath the Arctic ice suggests a series of underwater volcanoes have erupted in violent explosions in the past decade.
Hidden 2.5 miles (4,000 meters) beneath the Arctic surface, the volcanoes are up to a mile (2,000 meters) in diameter and a few hundred yards tall.
They formed along the Gakkel Ridge, a lengthy crack in the ocean crust where two rocky plates are spreading apart, pulling new melted rock to the surface.
So, there is Brand Spanking NEW evidence that VIOLENT explosions in the PAST DECADE from VOLCANOES (they get hot, by the way – hence the melty thing) happened under the Arctic.
What is this evidence, you ask? Yeah, me too!
Until now, scientists thought undersea volcanoes only dribbled lava from cracks in the seafloor. The extreme pressure from the overlying water makes it difficult for gas and magma to blast outward.
But the Gakkel Ridge, which is relatively unexplored and considered unique for its slow spreading rate, is just the place for surprises.
I’m not seeing any evidence here, but being the patient type that I am, I will read further… BTW, the Gakkel Ridge is just the place for surprises. I’m not sure if Dr. Limpbaugh said that or if it was maybe Professor Hannity, but someone seems to be saying that here. That ol’ Gakkel Ridge never fails to surprise, as we all know….
Robert Reeves-Sohn of the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution (WHOI) in Massachusetts and his colleagues discovered jagged, glassy fragments of rock scattered around the volcanoes, suggesting explosive eruptions occurred between 1999 and 2001.
They hypothesize that the slow spreading could allow excess gas to build up in pockets of magma beneath the oceanic crust. When the gas pressure gets high enough, it pops like a champagne bottle being uncorked.
With news this week that polar ice is melting dramatically, underwater Arctic pyrotechnics might seem like a logical smoking gun.
So, what Fox News is telling us is that underwater volcanoes MIGHT be causing the Arctic Ice To Melt. Now this guy, um, Reeves-Sohn from Corn Hole Oceanographic Institution isn’t saying that. He just says that during the years 1999 – 2001 if the gas pressure got high enough, it would pop like a champagne cork being unbottled.
BTW, Fox News guys and gals? This year is 2008. 2008 – 2001 = 7 years. So ending seven years ago, the popping magma champagne is just now melting the ice, right?
Let’s see what else is in the article….
Scientists don’t see any significant connection, however.
“We don’t believe the volcanoes had much effect on the overlying ice,” Reeves-Sohn told LiveScience, “but they seem to have had a major impact on the overlying water column.”
The same guy that they quoted while trying to make their lame-assed argument that volcanoes under the Arctic ice “might seem like a logical smoking gun“, they then tell you that Reeves-Sohn sez he doesn’t believe it had anything to do with the ice.
I am amazed and confused all at once!
Pure unadultrated bullshit wrapped up in a neat little package with a bow on top and a slight disclaimer at the end is Fox News’ way of disproving that which cannot be disproved.
You just can’t make this shit up! Although, Fox News certainly can!
Then again, I expected nothing different…..