Senator “Tubes” Isn’t Going Down Without a Fight

( – promoted by buhdydharma )

Senator Ted Stevens (R-AK) pleaded not guilty at his arraignment on Thursday to 7 counts of lying on Senate disclosure forms, beginning the process of clearing his good name.  Stevens maintains that he didn’t knowingly file any false forms.  He did not, however, offer any defense for being an idiot (see “series of tubes”), nor for being a corrupt asshole.

But Stevens’ attorney, Brendan Sullivan, made it clear at the arraignment that their legal team was ready to fight the charges:

Stevens’ legal team asked the judge to move the trial to Alaska, where the senator has been a political patron since before statehood. Attorney Sullivan also asked that the trial date be speeded up to give Stevens his day in court before the Nov. 4 election.

“He’d like to clear his name before the election,” Sullivan told the judge. He added: “This is not a complex case. It should be one that moves quickly.”

Since Stevens is a Republican, his strategy most likely will also include proving that he is not gay, although Sullivan didn’t address that specifically at the hearing.  

This is an interesting campaign strategy to be sure.  Most Republican Senate candidates spend their time yammering on endlessly about waging wars, cutting taxes, building giant walls, etc.  But being tried for corruption during your campaign?  That takes balls.  Yes, they are stupid and corrupt balls, but balls nonetheless.

The judge did not immediately grant the request for the early trial, saying he would consider it before setting a schedule.  The prosecutor said the early trial date would be “absolutely fine.”  The judge didn’t seem too excited about moving the trial to Alaska though, where Stevens undoubtedly has either bribed or accepted bribes from every potential juror in the state by now.

Although Stevens won his last reelection bid with 79% of the vote in 2002, his challengers for the Senate seat are naturally feeling embiggened (it’s a perfectly cromulent word) by these latest developments.  A new Rasmussen poll released today (taken after the indictment was announced) shows Democratic candidate Mark Begich leading 50% to 37% over Stevens.  And Stevens must first win a primary on August 26th, which isn’t as automatic as he would have expected.  David Cuddy and Vic Vickers are challenging Stevens in the primary and may be encouraged to spend some money on the race now since blood is in the water.

If Senator Stevens should fail in his heroic campaign I shall miss him.  Who has provided us with more ridiculous (but entertaining) material over the years?  Oh, that’s right . . . Larry Craig.  But Senator Tubes ranks right up there.  


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  2. sometimes I mix the two of them up. LOL

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