Senator McCain: HELP ME HELP YOU!

(6 pm – promoted by ek hornbeck)

Senator McCain: I am PREPARED TO DEFEND the use of your military record as PROOF of your QUALIFICATION TO SERVE AS PRESIDENT

I lack only the tools.

Help ME to help YOU.  

Senator McCain, it is INCONCIEVABLE to me that mouthpieces for the EXTREME LEFT in this country have called into question the idea that your military service is anything less than the ABSOLUTE BEST PREPARATION POSSIBLE for your future role as President of the United States. That these UNPATRIOTIC TRAITORS have the TEMARITY to challenge the notion that your UNEQUALED, UNPRECEDENTED AND ABSOLUTELY UNIQUE service to your country in the air over Vietnam and during your subsequent unprecedented years as a prisoner establish your CLEAR SUPERIORITY as a presidential candidate is an AFFRONT to the political process in this country and an AFFRONT to veterans everywhere (even though, as we know, no other veterans share your unique military experience).

And – not surprisingly – these attacks by your critics are UTTERLY WITHOUT FOUNDATION. It is sadly typical of the left wing to attack WITHOUT EVIDENCE. How can one claim that a candidate’s military record does not automatically make him qualified for high office when one HAS NEVER SEEN THAT RECORD? Such intellectual DISHONESTY might be held in high esteem in some circles, but not in these circles, sir, not in these circles. This is SCOURALOUS – to besmirch the value of your war record without even being able to point to that record, WITHOUT EVNE HAVING THAT RECORD.

And, oh, but those on the left who would see you defeated in November are clever – they do not fail to praise your “war record” (all the while without actually – like your defenders – EVER HAVING SEEN IT) to any who will listen, but they somehow FALL MUTE when it comes to proclaiming that that very record PROVES YOUR UNMATCHED ABILITY to govern this great nation.

Such viralent skepticism on the part of the TRIATOROUS LEFT in this country is not surprising – but, sir, neither are the many expressions of OUTRAGE by my fellow PATRIOTS here on the right – I share their frustration, sir, for as much as all of us want so fervently to defend our champion, our hands are tied. You see, sir, not only are those on the left – who want to declare that “absence of evidence is evidence of absence” – making their claims WITHOUT THE ESSENTIAL MATERIAL to back it up, so, too, are we on the right, if the truth be told. We are loudly proclaiming that your military record provides PROOF POSITIVE that you, sir, are UNIQUELY QUALFIED to serve as chief executive of this great nation – but without your military service records, we are at best only guessing.

Sir, with all due respect, you do yourself – and, dare I say it, by extention, this country – a great disservice by not unleashing upon the UGLY DOUBTERS of the world your FULL MILITARY SERVICE RECORD. Not even your staunchest defenders have that record, sir! Not even those who would give the LAST FULL MEASURE OF DEVOTION to defending your RIGHT to the White House by virtue of your having been SHOT DOWN AND EMPRISONED don’t have that record. PLEASE HELP US HERE! Please come to our aid, o GREAT REPUBLICAN TRUTH MACHINE!

Senator, I am sure that somewhere within the 636 pages of your complete military service record are the words that will assure the American people that YOU ALONE among all of the thousands of U.S. pilots shot down during the Vietnam War, that YOU ALONE, among the hundreds of Americans held captive and tortured by the North Vietnamese, that YOU ALONE, among those whose fathers and grandfathers were admirals – that you, sir – ALONE among all of that great assemblage of men and women who served and suffered in the name of this nation – YOU ALONE posess the unique qualifications that make you the ONE person BEST SUITED to assume the position of president of the United States of America.

And while I can understand your reluctance to unleash such an AWESOME weapon of mass clarification upon a skeptical public, sir, I believe that the time has come to FOREGO such compassion, such temperance, such consideration of the welfare of others, and to think for once only of YOURSELF, Senator – for in thinking of yourself, Senator, you will – through that magickal allchemy posessed by Republicans alone among all people – in fact be working for the benefit of ALL Americans. Of this I am certain.

But until we can weild those pages, sir, until we can UNDSHEATH the Sword of Truth that is undoubtedly bound up in those vindicating documents, our hands are tied. We are playing, sir, at a disadvantage, and this game – as well you know, sir, as well you know – is one in which the ENEMY will MERCYLESSLY exploit every advantage he is given. No quarter will be asked, sir, nor any given.

So please, Senator McCain, do not handicap us any longer. Do not unduely restrain for another crucial moment those of us who desire so passionately to defend you. We beg of you: GIVE US THE TOOLS WE NEED to DESTROY these HALF-TRUTHES, these scuralous attacks on the value of your record. GIVE  US THOSE RECORDS, SIR, so that we may weild them in the battle for the SOUL of this great nation.

I eagerly await your response, Senator. I know that you will do THE RIGHT THING.

Also available in Orange


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  1. < /snark >

    Clearly, all of the right-wing foaming outrage over a very matter-of-common-sense remark by Gen. Wesley Clark on Face the Nation recently should be telling us something: What it tells us is that we are hitting verrrrry close to the mark, threatening to blow up the Last Bunker of Hope and Delusion that the right wing has had to retreat to, given their hopelessly weak candidate. Like Baghdad Bob, the louder the rumble of the Abrams, the more histrionic the denial of their proximity. In our continuing focus on McCain’s claim to the presidency by virtue of his military record, the propinquity to the bullseye is directly proportional to the quantity of spittle generated by the Glenn Becks and Rush Limbaughs of the world. In other words – keep going; you’re doing good.

    A lovely note of irony: it’s common knowledge that a hallmark strategy of contemporary right-wing Rovian politics has been to attack the enemy’s strengths in order to make them appear to be weaknesses – projection and inversion. It also holds that the converse is true: present your own candidate’s weaknesses as strengths – unassailable strengths, if you are lucky/good enough to be able to create that framing.

    This is just what McCain has done with his service record. Forget what happened in Hanoi – that is, in fact, unassailable. (The deep irony here being that McCain’s captivity and torture can forgive just about anything he did while in captivity, but McCain himself has seen fit to reverse himself on the question of torture.) Rather, what about the rest of the 27 years he spent in uniform? Twenty-seven years. That is a very long period of time that is unaccounted for – but can easily be accounted for by the release of his service records.

    And to those who would argue that since I am not a veteran I should not be calling for the release of McCain’s full military service record, I say this: I’m not a doctor, either, and yet I believe McCain’s medical records should be made public; I’m not an accountant, either, and yet I believe that McCain’s tax records (and his wife’s, for that matter) should be made public; I’m not a congressman, either, yet I believe McCain’s voting record should be made public, as well as all of his campaign contributions. So to those who say that only military veterans can rightfully call for the release of military records, I say: Yeah, ahhh – no.

    BTW, I’m not a Wikipedia maven, but perhaps someone who is will want to check out this entry:

    John Kerry military service controversy

    It goes into a lot of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth accusations, and, it seems to me on cursory examination, to be pretty biased.

    But I’ll leave that to others to determine and, if appropriate, correct.

    • brobin on July 7, 2008 at 22:33

    almost always wrong?

    I feel I am correct in saying so.  😉

  2. …why McCain’s service, makes him more qualified than Obama–  Yet, according to the righties, Gore and Kerry’s combat service in Vietnam didn’t make them more qualified than stateside serving (part-time, when he felt like it) GWB?  

    The lefties keep throwing that logic crap out there.  They want “documentation”.  Why can’t they just accept McCain’s word as a “hero”–because he said so…


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