Fireflies & Lightning

Fireflies and Lightening at the same time right outside my window. No rain right now, but its really cool.

Time to move off the negative pointless shit, however mildly amusing and back to the beauty.

Look outside and tell me what you see.

I see my death over my left shoulder, as I always have since reading Carlos Castenada, but more apparent from my episode earlier this week. It makes everything more kodachrome, everything more perfect.

I swear the colors are brighter, the music more lovely; my beloveds more precious than ever.

My beloveds who have passed before me are close, closer, in my heart. No one is ever GONE really.

I feel the pulse in my veins, I measure them too often… but it is a reassuring thing, this tender machine, this fallible machine that holds my essence.  But it is not me. It merely houses me for the moment.

Like a firefly flickering, or a flash of lightning, we all too shall pass. I just hope I shed a light as lovely as they do, however brief.

I hope my witnessing of their light honors them.

Peace, my friends.

I actually am in a good place, despite the stress.

Sometimes I think the Gods scare me just to remind me of the important stuff.

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    • Diane G on July 19, 2008 at 04:43
      Author

    on this… Monday I may have had a very minor heart attack.

    I’m FINE, honest.

    Just have to do more tests & crap, but its probably just one of my PVC’s (premature ventricular contractions) gone extra amok from doing manual labor at 90 degrees at 45 yrs old for 9$ an hour, LOL.

    For those of you who went “HUH?” I have an arrhythmia, a natural occasional blip in my heart rhythm. Usual no bfd.

    No worries. OK?

    • Diane G on July 19, 2008 at 04:44
      Author

    Could you sponsor me on Blog Ads at WWL?

    I’d rather you get the 5%!!!!

    • RiaD on July 19, 2008 at 05:53

    take care of yourself……please!

  1. I wish I had fireflies or lightning.  I grew up in the midwest and fondly remember the summer nights catching fireflies in jars.  It was so nice to be outdoors in shorts and barefeet.  When storms rolled through it was exciting!  

    I live in Oakland CA now.  It’s hard to complain about the weather because it is always sunny and not too hot (70s) and it doesn’t rain from March through November so thunderstorms are non-existent. Even during rainy season they are rare so I really appreciate a good banging cloudburst.  Nights cool down into the 60s so it’s too chilly to go out without a jacket let alone in shorts or barefoot.   Ah well, I will live with it.    

    We did have a visitor in our yard a few nights ago.  I wonder if he’s out there now!

    Take care Diane.   ♥

  2. When I worked in greenhouses, I gulped a lot of Gatorade in the summer because it really does rehydrate better than plain water.  (Not just a marketing slogan, and no, I have no connection to the company.  Just practical experience.)

    Also, if you’re in the sun in 90+ degree weather: can you wear a straw hat at work?  Mine started out being a vanity thing (fewer wrinkles, lol) but it actually helped keep me cooler.

    And to answer your diary question: from the front window of my apartment I can see, right now, a streetlamp and the corner of the building across the way.  But from my kitchen window I can sometimes see fireflies.  (My computer isn’t in the kitchen, though!)

    Wishing you the best.

  3. your way.. nope not worried, just caring, ok?  Some great suggestions above here.. listen to them.

    And out my window I have fireflies too and there was supposed to be a huge moon tonight, but we had a storm and I don’t see it… although last night is was magnificent.

    Peace, calm and love heading your way tonight.

    ml

  4. this fallible machine that holds my essence. the pulse as reassurance. wow.

    god. Diane. i’m a bit wiped out by your words. the are beautiful and make me a little dizzy.

    peace to you. listen to your body and insist the doctors listen to you.

    and please make sure someone in your life knows about us here… to let us know if you need us for anything. okay?

    whatever. we’re here. all in this together. this life thing.

    i’m hugging you right NOW!

    • RiaD on July 19, 2008 at 14:31

    http://www.asahi.com/english/H

    (h/t mishima)

  5. so you don’t overdo it.  I will take you at your word that you are just fine.  

    Have you ever seen a firefly nest light up?  My parents had an extended back yard that was full of trees and when my father would trim them and mulch the branches he would dump the mulch at the back of the lot.  One summer’s night we were all sitting outside and in the back where the mulch was glowed like a Christmas tree.  When I walked back to see what it was there was a huge area of fine silk (something like spider’s silk) with all these tiny, pale fireflies underneath.  It was the most awesome sight.  I’ve never seen anything like it since.

    • Alma on July 19, 2008 at 19:17

    Last thing I know was outside last night was the mosquitoes that chased me indoors.  😉

    Do what the doctors and all these fine people have told you.  

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