About your tiny sample size…

You know you may need to take a two month break from polling results if…

…IF you missed the birth of your second child because you were too busy analyzing the party breakdown in the the latest poll out of Georgia.

This is particularly true… if you’re the child’s mother.

…IF you dumped your last significant other for “preferring” ARG to SUSA.

(Especially since aforementioned significant other “claimed” thier college infatuation with ARG was just an “experimental phase”. It’s NEVER just experimental!)

…IF you can both correctly pronounce and spell Quinnupiac… Quinniapic… Quinnnnipiac… that strange University between Boston and New York that does all that polling.

…IF you can cite from memory the African American turnout percent needed to turn PPP’s McCain +1 in North Carolina into an Obama +3, but you have no clue as to how much… say… a stamp costs. (39 cents… right?)

…IF your cat is named “Margin of Error” and your Dog answers to “Undecided”.

…IF your current sexual outlet is doing multiple interactive, online, electoral maps… in the nude. (“Are you coming to bed, dear?”/”Uh-huh (pant)… I’m just (pant)… checking the (flip Ohio to BLUE)… news (JAW-DROPPING ORGASM))

…IF small talk has devolved from “How are the kids?” to “How the fuck can Gallop assume a fifty-eight percent evangelical turnout in Iowa!?!?!”

…IF you refer to you brother-in-law’s current employment as an “outlier”.

…IF you’ve recently complained about your boyfriend’s “sample size”.

…IF you refuse to invite the new neighbors over to the house without first getting a good look at their raw data.

(“Its not that I don’t like them, Honey, its just that I don’t trust John’s methodology!”)

Its JUNE.

In JUNE most of America still thinks this election is between Mr. Hooper from Sesame Street (the old guy on the left) and Gordon from Sesame Street (the black dude on the right) and… I don’t know… whatever Sesame Street characters look like Ralph Nader (Kermit?) & Bob Barr (Grover?).