Did you hear?


Forest Gump died.

When he arrived at the pearly gates St. Peter met him and said

“Well Forest, because of the wars and all, there has been a huge increase in the number of souls arriving. We came up with one last test, just to make certain sure that all are worthy of being here.”

“Um, okay.” says Forest.

“It’s three questions, and you don’t have to give your answers immediately. You can go think about it and come back later.”

“Um, okay.” says Forest.

“Alright Forest. Here are the three questions.

#1- How many days of the week start with ‘T’?

#2- How many seconds in a year?

#3- What is Gods first name?

Have you got all that?”

“Yes.” says Forest, “but you’re right, I’ll have to go think about this.”

So Forest goes away. He sits under a lovely tree and thinks hard about the questions St. Peter has given him. Finally, he gets up and returns to the gate.

“I’m ready.” he states.

“Okay Forest. How many days of the week start with ‘T’?”

“Well, that one was a little hard, but I finally figured it out.

Two days begin with ‘T’…. Today and Tomorrow!”

“That wasn’t quite the answer we were looking for, but I must admit you are correct. I’ll give you that one.

Now- How many seconds in a year?”

“That one was really hard! I thought and thought and thought, but finally I got it. Twelve!”

“Twelve?” says St.Peter “How did you arrive at that answer?”

“I just counted ’em up! The second of January, the second of February, the second…”

“Okay, okay! Again, that wasn’t the answer we were looking for, but you are entirely correct. I’ll give you that one too. But Forest this last one has to be exactly correct, okay?

What is Gods first name?”

“Oh that one was easy. Andy is his name.”

“Andy? How did you know that?”

“Me and Momma sing it all the time….”

Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me…

St.Peter laughs and opens the gate.



Skip to comment form

    • RiaD on April 29, 2008 at 16:17

    i hope you did too!

    • Metta on April 29, 2008 at 19:56

    my smile generator is on the fritz.  Thanks for sparking it up.

  1. Ria comes through!!  Thank you for putting my head back

    on straight.  😉  Now, off to rattle some cages…

    • OPOL on April 29, 2008 at 20:40

    The 9 Billion Names of God

  2. I know Jesus’ first and last name, but his middle name? One shouldn’t say in polite company.



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