Quote for Discussion: Craigslist edition

From Craigslist Omaha:

To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife.

1.Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.

2.You may be giving me a chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit(god knows

I drink plenty before I find her attractive), but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.

3.If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter I will pick some up.

4.Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son belives if its not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recomend a better spot?

5.After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, Irun out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty(thanks).

6.Please do not tell my children that you are their uncle, they are young not

mentaly challenged.

7.Please stop turning the heat up, You pay nothing and MUD is putting it in my ass, my wife may like it but I think it hurts.

8.When she asks “do these pants make me look fat”, say no. You may think giving a different answer will make her think twice about eating a gallon of ice cream a day but all you are doing is giving her a reason to go buy more pants that she will look just as fat in.

9.Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good for years and if she does she will not share.

10.Try shifting your weight when you sit on my chair. The recliner that I rarely have time for (soccer games and practice, basketball camp for the kids takes much of my time and I try to help with school work too)has a grove in it that forces me to roll to the left.

Lastly I would like thank you for taking her to lunch on Valentines Day. She was not as hungry as usual and only orded one meal.I may be able to use the money I saved to take the children to a movie. I hope you can help me with these items, it may become ackward if I have to confront her. If you can do this for me I will give you a heads up on when I will be gone and for how long so that you don’t feel rushed.

P.S. I am going to take the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge on the 3rd of April for four days, I have abottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.

Thanks This was not writen by anyone named Jack S.


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  1. …as a quote for discussion piece.  But I think it speaks to something important that is not often well understood.

    In all things – love, family, work, and of course politics – we all understand and accept that things will often be far from the romantic ideal.  But it is the little things – the insults to our intelligence, the small expenses which pile up, the minor inconveniences that conspire to wreck our days.

    It isn’t that the politicians are lying, shameless bastards – but rather the combination of their boldness and their implicit assumption that we’re too stupid to get it that offends us.  And why pretty much every independent minded American of every political bent from leftist to conservative is rooting for Obama right now – he doesn’t treat us like we’re stupid.  Every time I hear Sen. Clinton speak, she’s talking about her “three point plan” for this or her “four point plan” for that.  I have no idea what the points of her plans are, and I know that other listeners don’t either.  She tells us how many points her plans have because it makes her seem thorough and smart, and reminds us that we’re dumb.  I don’t blame her for using rhetoric that works.  I blame her for using rhetoric that works by making us seem stupid.

    • kj on March 9, 2008 at 4:48 pm

    piece of work, Jay.  i’m thinking as much about the quote as about your comment.  thank you for making the connection between the two… which i would understood on some level of frustration, but would have missed the larger implication, which is the root of the matter. i’m the guy… no, actually, i’m the guy after he moved out of the house and into the trailer in the driveway.  

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