Seduced By Hope

I have seriously tried to deny it, even to defeat it. I have hidden it from myself, and thought perhaps, that it was just a phase. But, I finally have to admit it. I have been seduced. Not necessarily by Barack hope or Hillary hope, but by hope in general. It’s pathetic, really.

Don’t worry, I’ll get over it soon.

But.

After seven longlonglong years of anger and frustration and despair and darkness, it is pathetic how much the tiniest hint of some kind light has affected me. The mere THOUGHT of not having George “the Torturer” Bush and Dick “Plame treason” Cheney in office, representing us to the world, hatching their Dr. Evil madness and polluting the planet with their hate is so thrilling as to have become a serious distraction. Even though there is still a year of The Republican Reign of Terror left, some part of me has relaxed and taken a deep breath. I don’t feel the same burning despair and anguish that spurred me to start yelling. And I am ashamed!

FISA, Iraq, Torture, Treason, Profiteering, Plans for Armageddon….they all continue. They are mostly being ignored and for the moment at least, I am one of the people doing the ignoring. I can’t help it. I WANT to write about all of these things and how important they are and add my voice to the fray, but my heart isn’t in it.

My heart is playing outside in the sunlight of the possible.

It doesn’t want to go back into the dirty run down smelly, disgusting government building full of Republican shit and hatred and have to work over the crawling roaches of political expediency….it wants to dance and twirl and sing with Julie Andrews in the Alps.

Wow…..Ok I just launched a good talking to at my heart and it retracts the whole Julie Andrews thing, that was just way over the top….sorry about that.

We have reached a compromised on this and decided to go with:

Even though it makes me feel dirty, somehow….like I am letting the team down.

Damn.

The election won’t save the world, it won’t stop injustice, it won’t be a huge dramatic cure all bringing peaceandprosperity. We still have HUGE….nay… MIND BOGGLING distances to travel before we can even honestly say that the world is JUST fucked up. It is far worse than that. And it will take every one of us working our asses off to make any progress at all.

But at least soon, well, in a year or so…we won’t have what has turned out to be the boldest, most naked, most damaging and by far the most despicable collection of unremitting and irredeemable assholes in power that we have had stomping on our individual faces…and hopes….for what seems like an eternity.

Slim pickings, not much to hang your hat on, ad still a LOOOONG way off….but there it is.

Sigh.

Hope Sucks.

But we are here together and we have become like a family, somewhat. So I trust you guys will bear with me through this phase or virus or whatever it is, I promise….I will be over it soon and get back to yelling and snarking at the powers that be. I can assure you that this is NOT a permanent condition. But maybe just for the weekend I will surrender, and take some time off from the despair and anger that I have been wearing on my sleeve for so long now, and go ahead and think about how the world could be in a year….even though I know that whoever is elected will have to be watched like a hawk and held accountable and lobbied like hell to do even a LITTLE bit of the right thing…and will even then be a HUGE disappointment as far as moving fast and hard on the urgent challenges we face and changes we need.

So all that is left to say is…Don’t hate me for being hopeful and happy, I’ll be back to normal soon! I know how annoying it can be to have an unreasoningly cheerful person around when you are not in the mood. Please feel free to try to bum me out to break this fever of irrational elation.

Thanks…and btw, I love you all SO much I just want to wrap my arms round you and sing and buy you all a coke or something! Even you gloomy gus’s!