House Update; Note to Friends

I have been busy for a couple days, my neighbor & I helping a woman who has been abused get out of her house, and counseling her.

I haven’t been online as much as I should.

Then as I came on tonite, my husband got a call, his 89 yr old Mom isn’t answering her phone.  Without going into it, he left to go there; usually annoyed when she pulls this shit, instead, grim faced and quiet; sure this is it.

So I won’t be able to diary-sit as I should.

You all raised (with mlw) almost 450 bucks towards saving my home.

I LOVE you all for it.

I cannot find the essay Tigana was so kind to make for me, but in a quick check of deleted shit, I saw there was some sort of disagreement.

I haven’t the strength or the will to read thru it, I will say both Edgar and Tigana have become beloveds of mine in how they have both treated me from day one here.  I pray you work it out.  Life is way too short to let a quick decisions and minute irritations block the fact how kind everyone here is.

I still may lose this place, band aide in place for a second; and people around me may be dying. If any of you died, I wouldn’t remember your one ass-hat moment; I would remember all the kind things.

Any way with that and the 2 guys from mlw who donated 100 each by mail, I got almost 600$ against the 2 grand we owe since my husband got laid off.

We took out a credit card (fucking high fees) something I have always opposed against the rest in his Mom’s name. We have a month to replace it. 1400$, fuck.

I appreciate every minute, every penny.

We are so not very out of any woods yet.

2 house payments behind, laid off, trying to find work…

But we have a reprieve for the moment and I think I may have a new house cleaning job….

Anyway, every donated penny you gave is loved and appreciated, we would not have made it w/o it. (they wouldn’t give his Mom more than 1 G) and we are only 400 bucks short.

I can scrape that in two weeks, I presume.

So, please, and thank you all.

I think we will make it, and I will keep you updated.

But stop the donations for now, I feel too guilty; as my original essay said, people have it worse.

Your thoughts, energies, prayers, and other are entirely welcomed.

The best favor you could do for me, in this, not my home communioty, but one that has shown so much love?

Love eachother, forgive & live.

Admittedly, I intentionally missed the drama. Admittedly I chose to. I HAVE to be involved in meta where I’m an admin; here, I do not.

I am just too damned old to hear my beloveds fight or care why.

You are all good, this is a fine community.

love you, that is all.  


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    • Diane G on February 12, 2008 at 03:33

    her phone isn’t, thank the gods….

    • pico on February 12, 2008 at 03:57

    If any of you died, I wouldn’t remember your one ass-hat moment; I would remember all the kind things.

    A-fucking-men.  Pardon my language.

  1. But stop the donations for now, I feel too guilty; as my original essay said, people have it worse.

    I can understand this sentiment.  But, listen, you give a lot all of the time, and it’s important to learn how to accept things when they’re given to you.  It’s not to make you feel bad, or guilty.  It’s because we want to help you out and so we give you some money.  It’s not a ton of money.  It’s really very little from many people, but we do it because we want to.

    Of course there are people who are in more desperate shape.  There always are.  But if we used that logic, we’d never give to anybody because we could always find somebody somewhere who needed it more.  And in some places there are hundreds of thousands of people who have nothing and are dying (Darfur and Kenya come to mind immediately).  Just because we give a little bit to you doesn’t mean that we’re abandoning them.

    So please, find it in your heart, if you can, to accept what you are receiving. It’s not much.  Really it isn’t.  But it’s what we can do for you because we understand that you can use it and most important, we want to give it to you.    

  2. You are a sweetheart Diane.   Tigana and Edger are good folk and the community is trying to work it out.  Don’t worry about it at all.   Take care of yourself & family. Good to know Mom is OK.

    • Edger on February 12, 2008 at 09:22

    My best to you and your family. I’m glad things are looking up at least a little for you, and I know you’ll make it through these changes and come out ok. You have too much spirit not to, I think.

    • Diane G on February 12, 2008 at 15:55

    But since other peoples problems often take my mind off my own, I went ans read (skimmed actually) the essay where the disconnect happened.

    Now I’m going to do the thing that makes some love me, and others hate me.

    that is have my little irrelevant say.

    People get really attached in communities, and that sense of ownership is often what makes everyone so touchy about what can or cannot be said.

    I see a classic disconnect between people who want to contemplate the spiritual to get to a certain plane, and people that say that action is the route to get there.

    Both things answer the question very well, “Who are you?”

    Both mindsets got awfully tenacious about defending their positions, (300+ comments? wow) and for me, that answers also, that you are all a people who care so deeply, that you will endlessly defend what you think is good and right.

    What I didn’t see anywhere is ill intent.  I saw hurt feelings and a wee bit of lashing from that….

    Me?  I’ll endlessly discuss the inner workings of the human soul, but my husband is also an ex-psych major, and he will argue endlessly that its a waste of time.

    My question is, why are you all so mad at eachother?

    It seems like everyone is trying to get to a place of good, just by different paths. Every one was just talking about their idea of a good path. Red car, blue bike, who gives a fuck, see you at the beach, dig?

    Its a blog thing, I think. One person dislikes a message, and soon it becomes a group-think thing, where the one thinking outside the box gets framed as hijacker for being on a different wavelength… then that person digs in, refusing to be silence, and their voice becomes exactly that, repetitive and grating to the point where…

    Everyone Hijacks the thread.

    From outside, it looked like people just fixating on the wrong stuff.

    That essay made ME like every fucking one of you better, in all your diversity.

    God, I wish I could have written this to myself a year or so ago on mlw.  I needed badly to hear it back then…..

    :::steps off soapbox:::

    Nothing to see here people, move along.

    Love you, Be Well!


  3. But stop the donations for now, I feel too guilty;

    I don’t think that should apply to me, since I was so busy last week I missed the first opportunity to help you out and somehow it slipped by me.  I’ve been working a great deal lately.

    [email protected]

    Address, please.

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