Dildos and Dumbasses

Alright, now for something completely different: I want to talk about sex toys.

Yes, sex toys, you know: dildos, cock rings, cuffs, etc.

My Gentle Readers know what was done to me many years ago. (I can’t “feel” because of those surgeries.) I can’t do plain Jane vanilla sex. For me, it has to be a mind game before I can feel anything. No “Wham, bam, thank you Ma’am” for this girl… I need a scenario, and reading things like vorgasms sex guides help me to understand sex and create these scenarios much better and, almost always, they involve toys. I like toy shops, just like any kid does. Though, maybe the place where my friends and I look for the latest toys and tips to use them (one friend’s really keen on Lovegasm right now) are a bit different to say the least.

Regardless, I was very happy to see that the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals struck down the State of Texas’ obscenity laws as pertains to toys. Here’s a snippet from the decision:

In its decision Tuesday, the appeals court cited Lawrence and Garner v. Texas, the U.S. Supreme Court’s 2003 opinion that struck down bans on consensual sex between gay couples.

“Just as in Lawrence, the state here wants to use its laws to enforce a public moral code by restricting private intimate conduct,” the appeals judges wrote. “The case is not about public sex. It is not about controlling commerce in sex. It is about controlling what people do in the privacy of their own homes because the state is morally opposed to a certain type of consensual private intimate conduct. This is an insufficient justification after Lawrence.”

Take that one you tight-assed moralistic fuckmooks. What you do or don’t do in your bedroom is your business… and there’s no fucking way in Hell that I will have my fantasies and pleasures regulated by your thoughts via a gov’mit machine. As a matter of fact, I might celebrate by making a purchase at loveplugs. And by the way, this is not about morals, but mores (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mores), and I don’t have to abide by what others think on the subject of sex. I’m already a victim of those kinds of thought patterns as to what I am genetically and genitally. I can’t procreate due to the edicts of Societal norms, but I should be able to have a little fun in my freakin’ life. (These mooks have already ended my genetic line.)

I’m not a cross-wearer, and I do not wear sackcloth and ashes (so damn out of style). I don’t adhere to the Judeo-Christian-Islamic B/S, especially when it comes to the personal. I don’t have to because I’m a citizen of the United States, a country whose founding documents promises “Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness”. My life is MINE, not the property of some deranged, wanna-be Middle Eastern fuck from the Third Millenium B.C.. (The Goddess is a different story: “All acts of Love are Holy in My eyes”.)

Pursuit of Happiness? Chase me around the house, “capture” me and take me to the bedroom. (No, I’m not going to let you in on the details of my fantasies.) Let’s play with each others’ bodies. Let’s be Human.

What is it with this poop about sex toys? I mean, don’t you want your partner to feel something? To engage in a loving fashion that brings good feelings and some thrills? To be Human? To make them “feel the Earth move…”?

Intimacy is everything, and skin-on-skin is important. We are social creatures and this is part of that. Without these kinds of activities, all we become are walking ‘puters with no feelings. And if that happens, we are no longer Human. And we become dangerous to each other.

So go down to your local sex toy merchant, or spend some time browsing Femplay, and make some purchases. Show the world that you have individual tastes and needs. Tell the religionistic nuts that they aren’t in control of OUR lives. Let ’em know that they can just fuck off and die. “Orgasms for Peace”.

And now I must go to the shop and pick up a few things. I have a “burning desire”.

29 comments

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  1. but I just LOVE it. Molly Ivins (RIP) – hope she’s got a closet full of dildos to play with.

  2. Damnit!

    I’m framing this one.

    Look what we’ve come to … a nation of Victorians without even the cool gowns and wigs and stuff.

    Nize stuff, GG.

  3. i learned looooong ago to tread verrrrry lightly around the topic of sex toys…dildoes especially…

    boys have such fragile little egos  ðŸ˜‰

    in other news, my 14-year-old daughter came home from school yesterday and told me that in health class (abstinence only!!), they watched a video on ‘below the waist touching’.  so, of course, im all ‘was it pro or con?’.  and she says ‘they didnt suggest you do it, they just wanted to make sure you knew it was an option instead of having sex’

    ….i REALLY wish i’d thought, at the time, to ask if they were given any homework for that class…..  ðŸ˜‰

  4. and a a card carrying free love, peace and dope hippie and all…I have actively and officially participated in Orgasms for Peace days. Some of the most pleasurable activism I have ever engaged in.

    Even if I wasn’t, ahem, sticking it to the man ….at that precise time.

    • Edger on February 16, 2008 at 05:47

    Another one who just couldn’t be good and do as you were told, huh? Just couldn’t resist thinking for yourself either could you? What’s the world coming to with all this contagious free thinking going on?

    The friggin’ wingnuts are going to lose their minds completely when they hear of this.

    Heh!! Do you think they’ll miss them? Or even be in the same room when they lose them?

    Keep up the good work, GG! 😉

    • Edger on February 16, 2008 at 05:58

    The number of exploding heads in Texas right now probably sounds like popcorn cooking. 🙂

    • pfiore8 on February 16, 2008 at 06:24

    as long as they aren’t made in China…

    great title, provocative essay. because it both pisses me off and it inspires me… Orgasms for Peace. where do i sign up?

  5. …main ingredient:

    dill dough.

    • pico on February 17, 2008 at 03:06

    this decision will help people in Alabama next time they take their state ban on sex toys to court.  Last year the U.S. Supreme Court refused to hear their case after a circuit court upheld Alabama’s ban.  Now that there are conflicting circuit court cases, it’ll be interesting to see if the Supreme Court reconsiders and hears the case.

    Plus I want to see Scalia squirm during hours of chat about butt plugs.

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