Catch 22 or how I learned to love the war

Wars within wars, layers like an onion. My grandmother’s sayings rising to the top of my consciousness “My heart is like an onion. You may peel if you will but under every layer is another layer still”, all rush through my mind. The stew that is my being is called into action here and now. The collective knowledge or brainwashing, the personal, the so called rational, it’s all churning and in overdrive.

No relief in sight, calls for rationality offer nothing even close to rational. WTF is rational when nothing is clear, nothing is resolved everything is in flux. I hold on to what I can of my flawed and biased assessment of what’s going on. Is this wrong? Am I a bad Democrat, a hater, a lover, a cultist, a betrayer of the best outcome? Chastised by people I respect as a possible weak link in this battle over no difference other then mandated heath care vs. 15,000,000 left out. Heh? My feeble mind can not compute nor should it have to. I go screw you, political machines. My instincts are my friend, I think, I hope. Deliver me from the only answer? Then again perhaps this is the best bet. Roll those dice!

Take a stance and fear not I say. Then again trust experience. Who, in times like these, offers relief or even a reality that makes sense? “No one” I say, deep inside. My head spins, nausea ensues yet still I cannot let go of the hope. The layers within the Democratic party freak me out. Where does politics end and any answer to the madness begin? Not in the electronic vibrations shot out into my brain from my computer, not in the TV. Where is the answer? Nowhere. Still I cannot let go of hope, the antidote to cynicism, the only raft I have in this sea of inevitability.      



  1. only the present. So all we have to go on are our instincts. Plenty of experienced, “obvious” politicians have moved on to the top spot in their governments, only to fail. On the other hand, so have a lot of “inspirational” types.

    We can pretty much guess, though, that we’ll end up with a better President than the current one and that we’ll also be disappointed, no matter who wins.

    It might be better to just live our own lives, get something done, write our own chapters.

    • kj on February 26, 2008 at 17:28

    that’s my answer.  🙂  this election is going to happen with, or without, my participation.  once it’s done, and a new person is in OUR White House, then i’ll dig in again, or, if it’s just more of the same, maybe i won’t. in the meantime, there’s plenty of work… links for veteran poets to pass around, support for NENA…  new peace group to explore.  

    i’ll take hope over depression any day. did you see this, Shaharazade?  from JimStaro’s essay:

    Pete Seeger to Winter Soldiers

    lovely essay. i am sometimes too easily overwhelmed by what’s in front of me/us, and need reminders like this… i’m keeping hope and going to do the next right thing and fuck anyone who tells me differently. 🙂

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