S: Mr. Smith’s office, may I help you?
CALLER: LET MY PEOPLE GO!
S: Excuse me?
CALLER: I AM MOSES. LET MY PEOPLE GO!
S: Well, Mr. Moses, this is Mr. Smith’s office and I don’t see any people …
CALLER: LET MY PEOPLE GO!
S: Well I’m TRYING to tell you that we don’t HAVE your people! Are you quite sure you have the right number?
CALLER: MOSES SAYS LET MY PEOPLE GO!
S: All right, all right. I think it’s Pharoah you are looking for, Mr. Moses. I think he’s the one that has your people, if I recall correctly.
BBRRRIIINGGG!
S: Mr. Moses, please hold! Thank you!
S: Mr. Smith’s office, may I help you?
CALLER: IMAGINE THERE’S NO HEAVEN
S: Well, I’m terribly sorry, but this is Mr. Smith’s office and our business …
CALLER: IT’S EASY IF YOU TRY
S: I’m sure it is … Mr. … Mr. …?
CALLER: LENNON. JOHN LENNON.
S: Ah! No wonder my caller ID registers only zeroes! Well, Mr. Lennon, I am glad to easily imagine all those nice things, but is there something you are calling for?
CALLER: NO HELL BELOW US.
S: Well I’m sure that’s true … Mr. Lennon, please hold. Thank you!
S: Mr. Moses, I’m sorry to have kept you waiting. I am trying to find Pharoah in the Egyptian phone book but I’m not coming up with anything.
CALLER: LET MY PEOPLE GO!
S: Yes, I know, I’m sure this is very urgent. Here, I’m going to transfer you to Egyptian information and perhaps …
CALLER: LET MY PEOPLE GO!
S: Yes, yes, well we all want that, I’m sure … I am positive Mr. Smith would want that, too, Mr. Moses!
CALLER: LET MY PEOPLE GO!
S: We’ll sure try, Mr. Moses, I’m transfering you now. Thank you and goodbye!
S: Mr. Lennon, Mr. Smith is in a meeting right now, but I’d be happy to take a message and have him return your call …
CALLER: ABOVE US ONLY SKY
S: That is the truth, Mr. Lennon! Actually, I have your 000-000-0000 number here on my caller I.D., so I will definitely have Mr. Smith call you back when he’s free!
CALLER: IMAGINE ALL THE PEOPLE …
S: Yes! People, isn’t it a coincidence, a prior caller was looking for some people, too, well isn’t that the way some days go! Now you have a good day, Mr. Lennon, and I’m sure everyone will be very happy to imagine all those nice things! Thank you for calling! Goodbye!
The End
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… on a true story.
S: If you happen to be psychic and know your party’s extension please dial it now.
Caller: Let my people go
S: I do not understand this command, please try again.
is that I really enjoyed reading that, so thank you! I will have to ponder now …
Here’s a random tale of a call from beyond: In a book called The Post Card, Jacques Derrida writes of having one night, in the middle of the night (iirc), received a collect call. A collect call from one Martin or Martini Heidegger (the operator couldn’t be sure). I think the call was declined. 🙂
to……Part The Red Tape???