A Candidate Diary

Fourth Time Is The Charm!

After a long stretch of not actively endorsing a candidate, I have decided to come out both guns blazing for the one man who will ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY bring bold change to the White House, our nation ,and indeed the world, should he be elected. NONE of the other candidates can bring the perspective and unwavering, steadfast position of this fine, noble and no longer upstanding example of commitment to principle, values, and the working man of America.

My candidate is a man of values, both religious and social, a man of literally lifelong experience in foreign and domestic policies. A man who has proved time and again his willingness to take on special interests and vast corporate and business powers to advance the interests of the working man and the middle class, no matter what the cost to his own aspirations. He has been long…very long… an outspoken opponent of America as an Empirical power in the wold. An untiring and relentless candidate, he has a solid track record of walking his talk and of putting what he believes in above any petty political calculation.

Some here, in the mean-spiritedness of a fiercely fought and, some may say, meanly and even dirtily contested primary campaign, will attack him for his positions. We welcome these attacks, as they can only serve to bring to the light of day the issues for which he has tirelessly fought.

Yes, he advocates prohibition of alcoholic beverages, surely his long crusade against the idea of evolution, that man is descended from dirty apes, is well known. He is proud of these positions. The indisputable fact of his untimely death is not disputed, but indeed is CELEBRATED by this campaign. And STILL he refuses to let the vitriol and the attacks of his opponents sway him from his unchanging position…such as it is…on both  these issues and on the  great leveling influence of bi-metalism.

In this spirit of a TRUE FIGHTING (though, indeed, dead) Democrat I urge you all to abandon your candidates and to swing your support to his nomination by the party for the fourth time in his long and illustrious career.

Ladies and gentlemen of Docudharma and Daily Kos and of America….I ask of you, I beg of you, I sincerely plead with you to nominate ….WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN as our Democratic Party representative in the 2008 election for President of these great United States Of America.

I can give you my unalloyed reassurance that he personally will NOT attack his opponents with charges of racism or sexism or any other of the foul isms that have so besmirched this election season, that indeed, he will be as quiet as the grave as far as any form of attack on his opponents. Well actually, as far as anything, really.

Hmmm, maybe I should take a break from candidate diaries….

47 comments

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  1. Photobucket

    • Robyn on January 15, 2008 at 16:25

    Harold Stassen.

  2. zombie president have a skeleton cabinet or flesh it out with humans?

  3. I’ve just been reading the financial news.  Of course there’s that 4th term thingy to work out, but he could just do a signing statement or something, right?

    • documel on January 15, 2008 at 17:53

    At least he won’t fuck up the country the way the idiot king has been doing.  We have 3 good candidates and a media trying to divide the party by picking a he said/ she said fantasy fight.  Swift boats are acoming, there coming tonight.

  4. Cross of Gold to Cross of Debt.

    Play well in the sticks, that he doesn’t believe in evolution.

    • Alma on January 15, 2008 at 18:08

    I’ve decided to be uncommitted.  No, I don’t mean I’m voting for uncommitted.  I’m voting for Kucinich, but I figure if I change my name to Uncommitted, I’ll be right up there with the front runners as far as delegates.  😉

    • Edger on January 15, 2008 at 18:46

    WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN???

    Jesus, Buhdy!

    I got halfway through your essay and was expecting an announcement that you had decided to come out both guns blazing for the one man who will ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY bring bold change to the White House, our nation, and indeed the world, should he be elected, and had thrown your own hat into the ring and were announcing YOUR candidacy!

    Then I run into WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN???

    What a letdown! Sheesh!

  5. would be my choice as nominee….unless I can have Gore!

    Okay I want a policy wonk in the White House…what ya’ gonna do about it!????

    • Temmoku on January 23, 2008 at 02:27

    This is the bestest place for the bestest stuff!

    • jim p on January 23, 2008 at 03:12

    The indisputable fact of his untimely death is not disputed, but indeed is CELEBRATED by this campaign.

    Talk about making lemonade out of spilt milk! It’s this kind of indomitable will to go past Conventional Wisdom (“Oh, he’s dead, so how could he be President?”) right into the reality of how we feel that makes me cry

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