Non-civility draws uncivil people

Wow, this is not good.  

I’ve seen people who I think were friends arguing over little stuff.  I’ve seen people running around leaving Wrong!s everywhere they go, without explaining their disagreement with the poster.  I’ve seen too much uncivil behavior and people who do great work threatening to leave Docudharma.  And a lot of the people thinking of leaving are the people we need most–the civil ones who are able to have a spirited discussion without tipping over the edge of grudge-match.

I think buhdy is wrong.  Arguing: Yea!  Fighting: Boo!

I know this is just semantics, but I think of fighting as arguing and causing bad feelings without actual content.  Yes, we have to avoid the “echo-chamber” effect of everyone having the same opinions and just patting each other on the back all day; being uncivil is not the way to avoid this.

I agree with buhdy that spirited discussion is good for the soul, but look what has happened since this shit started.  People following others around to other essays and continuing the fight started elsewhere.  Name-calling and gratuitous invective have been rampant and once people get into this mode it is difficult to stop.  I like the fact that people won’t be banned simply because buhdy disagrees with them.  I like the fact that diversity is not only tolerated here, but encouraged.

The point of this post is the effect this kind of crap can have on this site.  Discord among us is a call to the disruptors to descend on this site and cause more discord.  They see us fighting and they say, “Alright!  This is my time to shine!  Look how easily I can bait these people and cause them to flame-on!”  This kind of infighting leaves up vulnerable to outside attacks and splitters who love nothing more than to stir-up trouble and spread bad karma.  

Here are my suggestions for how to turn down the flames:

  • Leave arguments in the thread they come from.

  • Ignore the disruptors (or, for enjoyment, make fun of them).

  • Calling someone names will only cause them to dislike you, not change their opinions.

  • If you give someone a Wrong!, and do not say why, your rating is meaningless.

  • Be excellent to each other.

    Let’s try to overcome this episode and help this site recover from the animosity.  If plf515 goes it will only prove my point about the good people leaving to avoid the bad karma produced by irrational fighting.

    I’ll say it again to emphasize my feelings about this.

    Don’t Go!  Stay and help.  

  • 74 comments

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      • Boise Lib on November 30, 2007 at 9:35 pm
        Author

      If you think I’m full of shit, say so now, or forever hold your peace.

      • Armando on November 30, 2007 at 9:41 pm

      “Leave arguments in the thread they come from.”

      We have all of us violated this utterly.

      ALL OF US.

    1. meant to be sarcastic.  If people are waiting for me to leave in order for them to come back they should let me know because I’d gladly step out of the way for the benefit of the site.

      That said however I do not believe that race should be a taboo subject.  And that seemed to be the underlying message of many of those that had problems with me/my statements.

      We will all make mistakes, so far on this site I have two major ones to my name.  But they both proved to be learning experiences for me and I believe a few other members as well.  Should negative energy be avoided?  Yes.  Is it possible to always keep negative energy from your positions, persona, and spirit?  If so please email me the recipe to your concoction at thefuture @ inbox.com

      • Boise Lib on November 30, 2007 at 10:25 pm
        Author

      I’ll see you all after.

      • kj on November 30, 2007 at 11:40 pm

      who know how to fight are my kind of people.

      Individuals define “fight” in various ways. When I have images of swords flailing, I do one of two things: Shut up and read, then jump in, IF I think I can offer an alternative point of view, and IF I think the subject is important enough to engage with.

    2. Try spending some time on what’s left of MLW.

      • plf515 on December 1, 2007 at 12:49 am

      and thank you for your kind words.

      • plf515 on December 1, 2007 at 12:50 am

      saying “just semantics” is like saying “just dynamite”

      kike…. yid…. Jew.  They mean the same.  They all refer to me.  It’s just semantics.

      • Tigana on December 1, 2007 at 2:30 am

      🙂

    3. I published a diary and it disappeared. I know it showed up somewhere because I got a comment but it is not showing up on the recent list. Have no earthly idea what I did.

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