Wooooonderful Things

California Wildfires

Governor George Bush toured the damage today in California popping up like Alfred E. Newman from one ruined dream to the next, smiling while walking on the remnants of people’s destroyed lives and livelihoods.  In his photo op he said that the Federal Government has every intention of helping out.  Once again leaving himself an out.  The man that will commit to nothing but illegal war and torture.

So what’s a burned out homeowner to do in these troubled times of global warming?  Luckily the White House was quick to respond with a hand written list.  Experts say the handwriting looks a lot like Barbara Bush’s style but will need at least three tv talking heads to confirm their hunch before coming forward.  Jump to see the list. 

Woooooonderful Things to Think of Besides a Burned Out Flooded America on the Brink of a Major Recession:

1. Ponies.
2. A warm towel fresh from the dryer.
3. Superman/Ronald Reagan
4. A giant piece of cake from the fair.
5. The first snowflake.
6. Doesn’t Katie’s hair look terrific!
7. New shoes.
8. Baby Bunnies.
9. Kittens kittens kittens.
10. Look how much more damage could my idiot son possibly do?
11. I hear Macy’s has a sale on mattresses laced with Toxic Fire Retardant Chemicals!
12. Just think of all the frequent flier miles you’ll get while looking for a new home!
13. With any luck there will be a new jail opening up in your town and you could get a good job!
14. A smile is it’s own reward.
15. Don’t think of Blackwater the Company, think of Blackwater the song!

Anywho your federal government is way to busy killing innocent civilians in Iraq to take care of any stuff back here at home.  As Georgey says, “we are killing innocent civilians oversees so we can kill them back here at home”.


Skip to comment form

    • pfiore8 on October 26, 2007 at 05:32

    16. near beer

    • srkp23 on October 26, 2007 at 07:30

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

    • fatdave on October 27, 2007 at 02:46

    the White House is in discussions with GoFuYo electronics with a view to manufacturing the Walkocide mobile device, basically a 3G handset including a facility to replay and to all intents and purposes take part in major genocides of the last 200 years.

    Nobody was available for comment earlier this week when three prototypes were delivered , but a staffer told us under conditions of anonymity that:

    “They’ve been behind their own closed doors for three days now. They haven’t eaten and we’ve only been asked to send out for beer, bourbon, batteries and kleenex.”

Comments have been disabled.