Pony Open Thread: Whatever happened to the old fashioned idea of a blow job…

that’s all… just asking… because when politics corrupts even that, then we are in trouble…

so fuck the politicians and i don’t mean that in a good way.

tell me, what besides san diego burning, pete stark apologizing, and the general sad state of affairs, do we have to talk about?

we need a break. as 73rd says, the floor is open.  or does she say the floor is yours…

A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, “This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What’s yours?” He coolly replies, “Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you.”

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    • srkp23 on October 24, 2007 at 00:03

    Q: What are three two-letter words that together define the word small?

    .

    .

    .

    A: Is it in?

  1. Getting a blow job is so COMPLICATED now.

    • fatdave on October 24, 2007 at 01:45

    ( I’ve changed some of the names for the protection of those involved).

    A Republican is a person who visibly shivers at the phrase “sexual intercourse” when they attempt to convince you that it’s the same as fucking till you can’t walk for a week.

    • fatdave on October 24, 2007 at 03:22

    Perhaps everybody is eating er…elsewhere or…um….something.

    • Twank on October 24, 2007 at 03:33

    Nice to see what a person can get away with around here.

    I’m learning.

  2. BushCo’s adverse Viagra outcome in the Middle East seems to have no end in sight.  It’s like a fatal erection bitten by a radioactive anus that is now morphing into a giant Frankenfurter.  The Iraq study group was popping Viagra like candy.  The unfortunate relentless hard-on is a true cause for concern.  Having a constantly engorged member shunts vitally oxygenated blood away from brain tissues essential to thinking: when the cock gets hard, the brain gets soft.  Boy, howdy!  There is nothing left to fuck in Iraq.  It’s completely fucked.  However, simply sporting the big Klaus Dieter makes you think you need to do something really Triple-X, whether you have consummated the deal or not, which in this case is clearly “not.”  Without that consummatory stop-sign, you keep on trying.  Just walking around for five-years straight with the big slab can’t really feel good.  After a while, it’s gotta hurt somewhat, eh?  It’s time to go see a doctor.  Let’s face it: BushCo made a deal with the devil in asking for the most fearsome Surprise Sausage of the century.  Now they can’t stop fucking things. 

    Here’s some reasons why to stop being big Schmucks and Putzes.  Relentless hardness is making our politicians progressively tightening their sphincters.  It’s not only the GOP grinding their hemorrhoids, but Democrats too.  Nancy Pelosi’s sphincter is tighter than bullfrog’s ass in fly-time.  I hope it doesn’t completely seize-up on her, ’cause then she’ll really be full of shit.  Ditto Harry Reid, though in a senile moment he loosened up enough to crap on Chris Dodd’s attempt to defend the Constitution.  On the campaign trail, Hillary Clinton is bending and pinching off pieces of rebar in her ass just to show she can.  What’s with all the clenching of collective anuses?  Bush pulled a major boner in Iraq.

    Boner: 

    An erect penis. Named for Arkansas senator Warwick J. Boner, who infamously got an erection during a sentate hearing with Red Cross founder Clara “Milk Juggs” Barton.

    “Look at those sweet, milky juggs on Clara Barton!”
    “Don’t pull a boner, dude!”

    It’s even worse than that: Bush gave Iraq the triple Bismarck:

    Bismarck:
      v. to punch someone in the face until they pass out, spunk in their face, and run away

      double bismarck
      n. like a normal bismarck, but the spunk is washed off. with piss.
      triple bismark
      v. to leave photographic evidence of a double bismarck

    Seeing all this porn causes a lot of excited auto-wankery in our pundits.  A few are bonerphobics, but most are bonerphiliacs, especially when Petraeus whipped out the re-direction erection, which Congress answered with the inspection erections, that made our front-runners whip out their election erections. Then the awful FISA legislation had to be voted on and the entire Congress suddenly got a French Connection erection.  Meanwhile, McCain foundered and became desperate for a resurrection erection, while Fred Thompson started blowing hot air and nearly got an advection erection.  Then SCHIP came up and Mitch McConnell got an interjection erection and claimed that the Democrats had an overprotection erection.  And let’s not even get into Larry Craig’s predilection erections. Taken together, it’s enough for the blogoshere to sport permanent disaffection/objection erections. 

    That’s a lot of patriotism, but I’m here to say it’s time to step away from the flagpole.  Give the old Thakar a rest.  Haven’t the Australians have gone home yet with their kangaroo pounders and bludgin’ koala bashers?  Haven’t the Dutch have gone home yet with their blue-veined yoghurt pumps and sea-monsters?  Aren’t the British getting ready to pull out?  I know I am.

    • fatdave on October 24, 2007 at 05:20
  3. I caught part of it. Incredibly depressing show on how the continuously moving frame the Bushies are using to trump up a reason to go to war on Iran. It was so depressing. You ask, “what next?” I’m totally worried about what’s next!

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