U.S. Primaries And Caucuses Are ‘An Erratic Clusterf**k Every 4 Years’

I’ve been saying this for years and I’m not alone, our system for selecting the person who will head the most powerful country in the world is in need of a major overhaul. I’m not saying this because my candidate is losing, I have no candidate in this race, except that the prospects of a President Trump scares the hell out of me. It should scare everyone. No I’m saying this because the system of primaries and, especially, caucuses are flat out undemocratic and arcane. John Oliver, host of HBO’s “Last Week Tonight,” explains just how screwed up it is:

Primaries and caucuses, Oliver said, are the “electoral foreplay” that will “culminate in the mass balloon ejaculations of this summer’s conventions.”

“Until 50 years ago, most states didn’t even have primaries,” Oliver explained. “And candidates were chosen by party insiders at the convention.” In 1968, however, “that system broke down” when party leaders tapped Hubert Humphrey as the Democratic nominee,” causing physical altercations at the convention.

So now we have these little nightmares called caucuses, “which can be prohibitive,” Oliver continued. “Because if you work at night or you can’t get a babysitter or you don’t have transportation, you can be frozen out.”

In 2012, for example, turnout for caucuses averaged just 3%.

“If you have three percent turnout at an orgy,” Oliver said, “it’s basically just you masturbating next to a table of uneaten snacks.”

Maybe someday John will share with us what he thinks about the electoral college.