Odds or Onions Challenge XI

Can you pick The Onion without hovering your mouse over the links?

Not much of a challenge really, but if you just looked at the headlines …

Florida Man To Stare At Ted Cruz’s Mouth For Two Hours Straight

If artists are supposed to suffer for their work, then Tom Miller must be a genius.

Friday night, the Gainesville, Florida-based performance artist will attempt to go where few others dare by staring at Ted Cruz’s mouth for two hours straight.

“This is the most dangerous thing I’ve ever done,” Miller told The Huffington Post. “It’s like being caught on ‘It’s A Small World’ for two hours straight.”

Miller will be doing his two-hour “Ted Gawk” starting at 7 p.m. at the Hardback Cafe.

The 50-year-old artist will be on a stage staring at a giant photo of Cruz without breaking eye contact (blinking is allowed).

“People can attempt to interact with me, but I won’t be focusing on anything else but that smile,” he said. “Maybe someone will bring a beer to ease the pain.”

Then an hour after his Ted Cruz staredown, Miller will unveil an original piece of artwork to commemorate the event. …

Shot heard round Tennessee: Sniper rifle its official rifle

NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Tennessee lawmakers have designated a sniper rifle made in their state and used by militaries around the world as the official state rifle.

The .50-caliber Barrett sniper rifle takes its place alongside other state symbols like the tomato as Tennessee’s official fruit, the cave salamander as the state amphibian and the square dance as the state folk dance.

The state Senate voted 27-1 Wednesday to pass the resolution after earlier House approval.

Gunmaker Ronnie Barrett, a prominent Republican supporter, sold his first guns to the U.S. military in late 1980s and the long-rage weapons gained popularity during the Gulf War in 1991. The Murfreesboro-based company now supplies its firearms to law enforcement agencies, private citizens and more than 70 militaries around the world.

Democratic state Sen. Jeff Yarbro of Nashville cast the lone ‘no’ vote in that chamber, arguing that the state shouldn’t set a troubling precedent by endorsing a private company. He said lawmakers wouldn’t want to choose between other Tennessee-made products such as Jack Daniel’s and George Dickel as the official whiskey, adding “anarchy might reign.”

Yarbro also suggested it might be more appropriate to honor the flintlock rifle used in the War of 1812 by the Tennessee volunteers who gave the state its nickname. But Republican Sen. Mae Beavers, the resolution’s main Senate sponsor, disagreed by pointing out that the flintlock rifle was developed elsewhere beyond Tennessee’s boundaries.

The House had voted 74-9 earlier to pass the resolution.

Last year, state lawmakers were deeply divided over an effort to make the Bible the official state book. Some argued the Bible was far too sacred to be set alongside certain state symbols and songs, while others called it integral to Tennessee history. The state Senate ultimately defeated that proposal after it had narrowly passed the House.

Family Has Strict No Smartphone Rule While Eating Dinner In Front Of TV

TRUMBULL, CT—Saying it’s the only time of day when everyone can be together in one place, the Gleason family confirmed Thursday that it strictly forbids smartphones to be used while eating dinner in front of the television.

“Dinner is a chance for us to sit down as a whole family—is it really so much to ask that everyone puts down their phone for just one hour while we eat and watch some TV?” said mother Diane Gleason, adding that the rule gives the busy family of four a chance to enjoy shows stored on DVR without getting sidetracked by checking Facebook, playing games, or reading text messages.

“We’re all so attached to our devices that we sometimes forget about taking time to come together for a little while, set aside our technological distractions, and watch The Big Bang Theory as a family. The kids may groan about it, but if it wasn’t for dinner, none of us might be caught up on any shows at all.” Gleason went on to say that even she had days when she’d rather be on her phone than watching The Voice, but knew it was important for the family that she follow the household rule at all times.