Democrats form “Visionators” Wrestling Team
to Smackdown Republicans
Montpellier, New Hampshire – Answering Bush’s Monday Night Nitro verbal rampage to “Bring It On,” presidential-hopefuls Howard Dean, John Kerry, Wesley Clark and Al Sharpton announced they were teaming up to create a wrestling dynasty not seen since the legendary Four Horsemen. Wesley Clark, aka “General Justice” grabbed the mike during their press conference and screamed at the top of his lungs, “I can no longer stand by and watch GW “Shrub” take advantage of lesser foes like the aging Iron Sheik and the obviously over-the-hill Nickolai Volkoff. You here me Bush, you have entered the forbidden land. I will crush your bones and make my bread!”
The mike was then taken by a near-maniacal Howard “The Howler” Dean. “I can’t wait to do my patented ‘Tree Hug of Delight’ on tricky Dick Cheney”, who wrestles under the auspicious name of “The Black Heart Lover.” I do not fear your Spin Doctor Whirling Death Drop. The Visionators and I have perfected our new move, the Flying Forward Vision Slam. Cheney, I know you’re in the building. Tonight, on Monday Night Nitro, I am going to find you and you are going to get your ass kicked by the Howler. YiiiiieeHHHH!”
John Kerry, who enters the ring under his real name, then added in his usual deadpan, “I have returned from my massive spine injury at the hands of one Karl Rove.” Rove, or “The Emperor’s Tailor,” is a notorious member of the once-popular Blue-Blooded Brotherhood. Rove always secretly interferes when the referee is not looking, fixing the fight for Bush or Cheney. His most infamous act was during the great Medicare Match last fall, when he got on the top ropes and dive-bombed Kerry from behind, using the forbidden Kick of Liberal Guilt. Kerry pointed calmly at the camera and said, “You have brought the behind the scenes out into the public. Brother, bad idea. You are about to join the long list of people who thought they could style and profile like John Kerry.”
All Al “Brother Hope” Sharpton added was, “I just can’t wait to get one of these rich crackers in the ring. This smack-down is for the hood.”
Some critics argue that such high-level politicos participating in WWF demeans the luster of the Presidential Office. But since the purpose of the President is to distract from the true source of power, the new Visionator team storyline could not be more welcomed news in the nation’s biggest and brightest ivory towers. Said critics were taken out back and shot.
I printed this in Mexico, years ago, forgot about till today.
Some things never change.