How I Will Spend My Tax Rebate

I’m scheduled to get $2700 by electronic deposit some time in the next two weeks. I’ve already got most of it spent. Had this list of stuff I’ve been meaning to get for the longest time and some long overdue recreational activities to fund…

$1000 = bail emergency fund (never going to stay overnight in jail again)

$13.68 = superglue, 3-pack

$224.92 = limited edition print of poker playing dogs with hats on

$6.99 = six pack of Bud

$39.00 = tank of gas

$5.00 = two t-shirts from Wal-Mart

$1.99 = Breathsavers Breath Mints

$19.95 = Ginsu knives (always wanted those things)

$10.00 = two matinee tickets to “10,000 BC”

$19.00 = combo pack mini-golf, go-cart, and paintball ticket at Fun World

$34.00 = sack of rice

$25.77 = case of processed American cheese food substitute from Costco

$90 = digital TV converter boxes (two)

plus $40 in discount tickets I got in the mail today for the converter boxes.

$5 = Netflix membership

$499+ = Nintendo Wii with all the Guitar Hero stuff too

$552 = 417 of the 390 nanometer 1 milliwatt UV LEDs

$63 = 4 titanium shuriken

$17.95 = wind up flashlight

$89.99 = Season 3 “Miami Vice” DVDs

$799.95 = 1 of those Blackwater assault rifles they sell at blackwaterusa.com

$45 = 3 cans of alginate mold making powder

$3.00 = those fake plastic hillbilly teeth all rotted and all

$129.95 = 1 Air Force surplus oscillation overthruster

…that’s all I can think of right now. Lemme know if I missed anything.

Oh crap I need to add all this up…hope I didn’t go over.

Is the Pony/Pie/Hide rating system too cutsie?

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12 comments

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  1. forgot the detonators.

  2. dude, take the $5 and burn it, then rub the ashes into your eyes.

    this will be a more enjoyable experience than seeing 10,000 bc.

  3. Deductions reduced to zero so paid in 1700 to “get”??? 1500 “back”.

    It was just a bribe to file instead of doing the Patrotic thing like Ed and Elaine Brown.

  4. I’m afraid I have to ban you again 🙁

    We have a strict “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy re drinking Bud

    Smoking it is a different matter entirely.

    Good thing you know how to keep hacking your way into the system after I ban you again and again.

    Fortunately, forgetting the detonators,,,,,while hugely disappointing (as is, btw going for the overly flashy titanium, tsk tsk)….is not a bannable offense, so I only have to ban you the once. This time.

    Hey! Are you gonna blow up that robochairtorturethingee? Or something more…constructive?

  5. but how bout throwin a little into the DD kitty?

    When I came into this essay, that’s what I thought it would be about, oh you of Docudharmathon fame. But the snark was much funnier. LOL

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